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Should he get any say in her name?

My husband and I were going through some rocky times when we found out I was pregnant with our 3rd baby. He wanted me to abort and I almost did but decided not to at the clinic. He accepted the idea that I was keeping it but when he found out it was a girl he was upset and actually wanted me to consider adoption since we already have 2 girls. Well again I told him no. Now he's warmed up to the idea (along with his family who also wanted me to abort in the beginning) and has chosen the name he likes for her. I don't really like it but I have been going along with it. My family is telling me I should name the baby whatever the hell I want since he did not even want the baby. What do you think?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Nov. 26, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Wow I'm sry abput you and hubby. What a request that would be a life changing decision. When I was expecting first child my hubby was not excited neither was his family but I love him and his opinion matters to me. So when she turned out to be a Daddy's girl I was glad I didn't hold a grudge. I know this is hard for you but everyone makes mistakes learning to forgive is the real meaning of love. I think you should take his pick into consideration but it's your baby too and if you don't like his name don't use it. I was adopted as well as my mom so I'm glad you chose not to have the abortion seeing as how I almost was in that situation.Maybe you can compromise and you choose first name he chooses middle. good luck and update please!

    Answer by ainstalshia at 8:01 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • i think you should name your kids whatever you want to he basicly has no right because he didn't want her in the first place it is all up to you

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • No matter what happened when you found out you were pregnant the two of you are having a child.... together. It is his child as much as yours. If you don't like the name tell him and come up with something you both agree on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • I would tell him too bad and find the name you like and name her that. what kind of father wants his wife to send away his child just becuase it's not the sex he wants. That's upsetting to me. Like I said I would name her what you want.

    Answer by AshleyG. at 7:57 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • Name your daughter what you want to name her.

    Answer by kathynej7142007 at 8:02 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • Name her what YOU like. I think it's too little too late for him to join the party.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 8:08 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • If you want peace in the family and a caring relationship with your husband, then you'll need to accommodate his feelings to some extent. Consider what it would mean either way. Say you decide not to use his choice, what is he going to feel- that he didn't have any say about the baby nor about her name, that he isn't wanted, that he isn't important. What would happen if you use the name he likes. That he is important, that he has some emotional investment in the child. I think that his choice of names should be seriously considered. Would it be possible to use a form of the name he likes? Or to use his choice for the first name and yours for the second and then down the line call her by her second name? Look to the future.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:17 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • r u planning to stay married to this man? I wouldn't. That said if u plan to stay married he should have a say. Not that he gets to pick the name, but he gets to help pick. u would both have to agree on a name, w/ u having more pull in the name(because the mom just gets that right!). Now if you are no longer together, or planning on ending things then he can suck it! u get the naming privledges. Either way this name he likes and u don't is not an option because u don' t like it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • I think the name is the least of your problems right now, I think name her whatever you want to and go get some counseling to find out why a married man would expect his wife to kill their child, and bring his family into the mix as well! I am so sorry you are going through all of this, it must be very stressful!

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:27 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • i can say my dh was not much into finding a name for our unborn child either - we did not want to know the sex.he was excited and all that, but name was not his thing. i basically prepared a list or two w/ my pick-ups and shown it to him at home. he did not agree for a one. his names he was naming were so oudated i could not agree for them. we decided we'll name the child in the hospital after have seen the baby. that's how we came up w/ our son's name. we hooked up the computer and looked up the right pronouniation of this bame, hidden meanning, origin, popularity etc. finally we decided for the name which was one of my list on and i'm so happy, so he does.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Nov. 26, 2009