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need help!!!

i dont know how to ask this but here i go me and my husband and dd live in my home state and we have fallen really haed and had to move back in with my mom and he taking it harder thani would of thought now he want to go back to his home state knowing we cant go with him because we dont got a place to stay and i dont know what to do i dont want to lose my dh but i dont want him to move 12 hours away not knowing when he will be able to get things together for us to come down thier what should i do???

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on Nov. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Plain and simple... family comes first. Remind him of that
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • Many times in history men have had to go off alone and set up things and send for the family. Trust him to know what's best for his family.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:45 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • Tell him to grow up. He wants to move back because he is uncomfortable get over it you have a kid. If they doesn't matter to him then your kid is better off without him
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 10:46 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • yea family does come frist but when you go from haveing what u want when u want it to having nothing can bearly afford gas to get your child to the doc....by the way im op
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • armywife we have been here for 2 years when we first moved up here we moved in with my mom till we got a place so it ain't that hes uncomfortable its is that he has a family to think about and he don't think we should be living with anyone

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • well if that it how he feels then he should do something about it and leaving you and your child behind is not doing anything...that would be running..is he a man or not..?
    michelle0215

    Answer by michelle0215 at 10:56 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • Why would he want to move 12 hours away from his family not knowing when you guys would be able to move with him? Wanting to move away from your family without a concrete plan is kind of ridiculous. I agree with PP. Moving to another state to "get things together" is a cop out and he's running away from the problem. He should want to stay and make things better where he is. Then after you and him have gotten things together and he still wants to move, then go from there. However, he is abandoning his family on a slim to no chance that he'll get things together.. That to me is absolutely wrong. Family comes first, and getting things together is a husband and wife job. He needs to take responsibility, face the issues, and get things together where his is with you.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:10 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • Why does he want to move to his home state? Does he think the jobs would be better, cost of living lower, or does he just hate living with your mom and want to live with his parents, or is it an 'escape'? I do think you need to sit him down and discuss this. If he wants to move he needs to explain his reasons for wanting to move back home-- and let you know what his 'game plan' is--- where will he live, where will he work, how long does he expect it to take before he can send for you and dd? If it were my hubs, I know I would not want him to move 12hr away from me and the kids. I would want him to work here and save up enough money so we can ALL move there together. I would also want him to have a job or job interviews lined up and not move until he secures a job in that area.
    good luck I hope it all works out!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:26 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • if that's what he wants, i'd tell ok go, but since i have no job and we have the kid, you must for the time being leave us well prepared here, where we are, or at another affordable place - leave some money etc., take your time if you need it (the last i could think of would be moving to a shelter or yours friends till he prepares the nest for the 2 of you to come; living at his friends would put a pressure on him to have things lined up soon, or .. he would really gained bad opinion, people see; some guys care). i think he does not want your mom near, that's why he goes farther. moving to his parents would put you in a similar situation what's unfair. i'd help him find a job for all of you 1st where you leave, and over time better one so as you could move to better living together.
    baby133

    Answer by baby133 at 7:28 AM on Nov. 27, 2009

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