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Control Issues?

Why do some people have such a hard time taking advice, suggestions, or even receiving questions? My xh thinks that bcuz I express concern over one of our kids being sick, I am all of a sudden trying to control him and tell him what to do and question his authority! Talking to him is like walking on eggshells and I need a better way to deal with people who think this way. Are they just sensitive people??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on Nov. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • word out what yu have to say so it sounds logicall and is in the kids best interest, stay calm men don't hear screaming
    mirit.rose

    Answer by mirit.rose at 11:10 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • Men are deemed logical and women emotional. Men hear things differently. I find that if I first compliment my ex as an excellent father and provider but have concerns about such and such, he responds better.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 1:54 AM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • It's true about the logical thing. Just treat it like business. It's also a good idea to word things in such a way that they think the conclusion or answer is their idea. Instead of saying our son is sick and he needs to go to the doctor or needs medicine whatever whatever...Just say. Our son is coughing, has a fever, runny nose. I could take him to the doctor, give him medicine, or just put him on orange juice, what do you think I should we should do? He can't say you're trying to control the situation if you are asking him to come up with a solution, but you are directing the question in such a way that it makes him think its his idea. I don't know why this works, but it does. LoL
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:57 AM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • lowencope: this is op. I am currently in the middle of this very situation as we speak! My kids are at their fathers house for the weekend and were supposed to go on a trip about 6 hours away to visit relatives. My youngest got extremely constipated and he put the trip on hold since she was in alot of pain. She was the one to call me telling me they hadn't left yet, and when I contacted my xh to talk with him about it, he told me he had it under control and to stop asking questions about it. I backed off but ended with a gesture that if he needed me to keep her while he went on the trip with our other daughter, I would do that. He then blew up and said that continuing to talk with him about was abuse and that I was too controlling and that if and when he needs my help, he will ask me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • sounds like he's still bitter towards you. I dont see how you could have handled the situation any better than you did. He really needs to look at what's best for your daughter and stop holding a grudge. What a child.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 12:47 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • lowencope, you nailed it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

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