What is so darn difficult about knowing what your custody agreement...

Oh my God Anonymous,

My husband and I are about to go through the whole getting a court order routine and I'm learning more and more that men just want to push your buttons even at the expense of the kids. My husbadn has never been a hands on dad and was mostly never home, but now that he's left its so "important" that he gets joint custody " which I will not agree" and it's so important that he gets his visitation. I agree that they should see thier dad, but he needs to stop faking cause I know how he was behind closed doors. Honey he just knows how to push your buttons. Don't let him.

I think it is funny that you assume it is a man pushing the buttons.

We had an ugly situation today. The kids live with their Mom across the country. Anytime we call they are never home and we found out they don't get any emails we sent them either. They are not allowed to call us. They are 14 and 16. The 16 year old has to sneak us emails from a friends house. Today we called to wish them a Happy Thanksgiving. My hubby asked to speak to the kids and their stepdad hung up on my hubby. Needless to say he was beyond pissed. The custody agreement is that that we can call anytime, email and have visitation in the summers, Christmas and if we happen to be in the state where they live we can see them. And yet their bitch of a mom won't let them talk to us at all. And we don't have the money for a lawyer to do anything about it. I think it's so emotionally harmful to the kids and it makes me really sad for them and for us

Because you wrote the 16 yr old is sneaking emails, the kids are aware what their mom is doing. I wonder if Friend of the Court could help you. It may have a different name in your state. The kids are at the age they should be allowed to contact their non custodial parent. You may want to keep the cards and presents you would send to them (obviously not gift cards) to give to the kids when they are safely out of the mother's house. Abuse can be emotional and this is what seems to be going on here.

I understand you are upset but your title is confusing. The other party knows and understands the custody agreement but is more concerned about her own feelings and especially of controlling and probably seeking pity from other adults in her life. No doubt she is calling the father a deadbeat when she is the one causing damage.

What type of educational degree she has obtained has nothing to do with her character.