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Would this bother you?

I went to my boyfriend's cousin's for Thanksgiving dinner last night. His ex girlfriend was there with another cousin who happens to be gay. She said hello to me and acted very cordial.....My boyfriend ended up hiding from her all night. I didn't think much of it, but I still felt very uncomfortable. I felt like people were comparing us and waiting for some drama. I didn't give it to them....just grinned and bore it. Would it still bother you to be with her at Thanksgiving dinner? I am very shy about being with certain members of my boyfriends family and I also feel like they don't except me. The way they were looking was as if they wanted my boyfriend to rekindle the relationship they had that lasted a month....I've been with him three years. I just wonder who would feel uncomfortable in this situation or is it me?

Answer Question

Asked by TinkTink205 at 9:19 AM on Nov. 27, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • Yes, I probably would have been uncomfortable with that also. Now, if he was friends with his ex and wasnt avoiding her, I probably wouldve felt comfortable.

    Answer by serioussifL at 9:27 AM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • If you've been with him for 3 yrs and she only dated him for a month, presumably before you all were together (if he cheated on you with her, then that would be an entirely different situation), then at this point, they probably don't think of her as "his ex" - she's probably just a family friend.

    I would just take the high road and not say anything, or honestly, if you don't think SHE is trying to get back with him, then maybe even befriend her. Because either 1) they didn't mean anything by it, and it would make you more comfortable with everything all around, or 2) they, or at least some of them, did mean something by it, and how weird would it make them feel, to see how badly it backfired.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:42 AM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • It sounds to me like you have problems from your boyfriends family, not the ex-girlfriend. It is quite possible she was as uncomfortable as you were, and also hiding it for the sake of a peaceful holiday. His relationship with her lasted one month, and you've been with him three years? It should be crystal clear to everyone what his preferences are, but since his relatives seem unable to understand this, maybe he needs to sit them down and have a chat with them, telling them exactly how things stand, and that they can either accept you as the woman in his life, or they will find themselves OUT of his life. It's rather drastic, but some people just can't figure things out for themselves, they have to be TOLD straight out. The longer this continues, the more of a habit it will get to be, and it can get worse, or at least more irritating as time goes on.


    Answer by pagan_mama at 9:54 AM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I think I probably would have tried to sit there and talk to her like girl chat so i didn't feel uncomfortable anymore. Probably would have made your bf feel really really uneasy at that point. You can't let stuff like that bother's just life. Just treat her like a friend and pretend as if she was never "the ex". There is no reason why you have to feel uncomfortable. Just go with the flow. Ya know? I think you handled you it okay.

    Answer by lowencope at 10:41 AM on Nov. 27, 2009

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