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Gee,I forgot (again)!

Anyone else have family members(especially parents)who conveniently "forget" your birthday/anniversary just about every year? My mom has NEVER acknowledged my anniversary,and just about every year she "forgets" or becomes very poor or busy when my birthday rolls around.My cousin's birthday is 15 days after mine and she has never been forgotten.My philosophy is that you have 364 days from the last missed one to shop.If you find it important enough,you will find a way to remember.Oh,and yes,this occurs at x-mas too.

 
TMJ121099

Asked by TMJ121099 at 12:08 PM on Nov. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 7 (186 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • My mom is the same. it is not like she forgets my birthday either, it is mine, my grandma's, my sister's and her birthday all within 4 days of each other, oh and also our anniversary. She usually acknowledges the birthday when it is her birthday and then she will say, oh and you had a birthday too. (Wow, thanks alot for the b-day wishes). I now don't expect anything from her or anyone else in acknowledgement, this way I don't get so depressed. She also does not send my children any birthday cards or christmas cards (we live 5 hours from her) but she gives presents and cards to the other grandchildren. This bothers me more than anything else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • Yes, I have people that forget mine, but I dont let it get to me. I dont expect presents on my birthday- thats just silly. I dont expect anything from anybody except for my husband. If I get something, cool! If I dont, no big deal.
    serioussifL

    Answer by serioussifL at 12:18 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • My mother has never sent me or my children birthday cards. She sends a Christmas card, that's it. She bought one of my children one present. That's it, ever. We haven't seen her in 12 years, since my grandmother died. I never did anything, there wasn't a falling out.

    She didn't want to be a mother. I was born in the 1950's, before the pill. My grandmothers help raise me and always took care of me when I was sick or my mother was sick, every Friday night and Saturday, and sometimes all weekend. As soon as my younger sister moved out at 16 my mother thought her job was done.

    A couple of years later my parents moved to Florida. While my father was alive we heard from them more than once a year and even went to Florida to visit. My father died of lung cancer, my mother remarried and she became even more distant. We like her new husband and I don't think he doesn't like us. It's just the selfish way she is.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:22 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • Why should she remember your anniversery? That's between you and your husband, not her. And you sound very selfish and immature since you said that she has "364 days to shop." Who cares about gifts? That's not what birthdays or Christmas is about.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 12:25 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • Yeah, my parents do not and are not expected to remember our anniversary and sad to say but my husband and I forget almost every year! LoL. Anyway...I never get excited about my bday or xmas anymore cuz I'm an adult and quality time with my family is more important than material possessions. I understand that you feel hurt that you aren't thought of and it is a legit concern; however, you have to realize that not everyone places impotance on those things. You have to let your mom be who she is and try to enjoy spending time together more.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 12:40 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • OP here.I don't feel that I am being selfish.I don't expect a gift for my anniversary,just maybe a phone call to say have a good day.My mother doesn't want to spend time with me either,she's always "too busy" with other things and people.She never forgets her "important" people when birthdays and christmas rolls around.She demands that we remember her for every little holiday (Easter,Valentines,Mothers day)and throws a fit if we don't get her anything.She has seen my son twice this year,and she lives 6 blocks away! I gave up bringing him over because she just isn't interested in him.She'll call for favors and information,but when I try to have a nice conversation with her,she has to go.I always figured that birthdays especially were for the giver also.i know myself I get a kick out of making loved ones happy.She doesn't seem to want that.
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 1:44 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • You'll notice I said "acknowledge' my anniversary.I didn't mention gifts.You know,they make cards for people to give to loved ones on their anniversaries.Why do you think that is? I figure you're either a gift giver or you're not.You don't pick and choose who worthy enough and thrust it in other's faces that you went all out for a niece or nephew and neglected to gift your own child.
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 1:49 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I don't allow ppl to forget mine. I start telling them a month in advance then remind them a week in advance then I call them on my birthday if they forget and remind them again. On that one day each year, it's all about me and I'm not letting them forget
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:27 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I am an adult and don't care about my birthday celebrating them is for children not grown adults. I really don't expect anyone but my husband to remember our anniversary. Grow up your life will be much happier and you will have less to complain about.lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

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