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Teenage daughter is really lazy,help!!

Help!
What can I do about my 13 year old?She does nothing round the house.Her room is a complete mess unless i clean it up.She leaves clothes and stuff all over the floor.When i take her clean washing in she just leaves it where i put it, and if it ever does get put away she just dumps it at the bottom of her cupboard.Wherever she goes in the house she leaves a mess for me to clean up.
She doesn't do her homework on time.She doesn't seem to care at all.I try not to get angry and try to talk to her reasonably about it but she is just taking advantage.What do I do next?
On top of this she is really rude to me and arguments are an every day occurence.

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daisycat78

Asked by daisycat78 at 1:33 PM on Nov. 27, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • Well this is what my dad used to do to us kids... If he asked us to clean our rooms he would let it go for no more than 3 days without it being cleaned. After nagging us, and we didn't listen to him he would take EVERYTHING out of our bedrooms and through it into one pile and FORCE us to clean it! Don't clean up after her anymore, she is 13 years old ... she can use a little discipline, start grounding her if she doesn't listen, take her phone away, computer privileges so on and so forth. This is what my parents did, and I am sure that she will get the picture once you start standing your grounds! Good luck **
    ali_1107

    Answer by ali_1107 at 1:36 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • Make her sit at the table when she comes in and do her homework (if she stops bringing it home and lies about not having homework, make her bring you a note from the teacher saying she doesn't have homework that night). As for her room, tell her you are no longer doing her clothes, she has to do them herself, when she doesn't have anything clean to wear, tell her she needs to do her laundry and she'd have something clean to wear. Take something away or ground her if she doesn't pick up after herself. Also threating to take her door away or taking a trash bag and throwing away anything on the floor is a good one to make kids pick up their stuff. Start doing daily checks and if she doesn't keep it clean she looses something. Or what ever the mess is, you will throw away.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • First of all there is no reasoning with a teenager, what you need to do is dump everything into the middle of her room and give her 1 hour to clean it up and put everything in it's proper place. Whatever is left over after the hour is up gets boxed up and you can either keep it and make her earn her things back or give it away to goodwill. (it only took me giving my kids things away once for them to learn). She is old enough to be doing her own laundry, if she doesn't do it then she wears dirty clothes to school. She is treating you like a maid because you let her get away with it.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 1:45 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • My mom once packed up all of our toys and pull them away until we could prove that we would keep our rooms cleaned. I know she is 13 and probably doesn't have any toys but there are other things you can take away such as TV, computer, phone, going places. She is old enough to not only clean her room but to do other things around the house. My 6 year old cleans her room, picks up the livingroom and feeds/waters her dogs. Its important for children to learn to be responsible. Mommy isn't always going to be there to pick up after them. I hope everything works out!!!!
    Frogbaby83

    Answer by Frogbaby83 at 1:47 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • People don't do what they don't have to. I told my kids what day they would clean their room. The next day, anything left on the floor or just piled up on the bed/table/etc would get put in a trash bag and removed. No, not for them to clean up later. I told them if they didn't care for it, neither did I. Same with laundry. What didn't get put into the hamper/laundry basket, didn't get washed. Not doing homework brings it's own results. I was all about cause and effect in child-rearing. It worked. They're now 29 & 27, and doing just fine. Very responsible adults.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 1:48 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • You have a lot of reprogramming to do. You let this go on for 13 years. Reteaching will be a long, hard road but if you set her and any others down and say Okay Kids..it's a brand new day with new rules. Set out your ecpectations EXACTLY. Refuse to be their maid. I only wash what is in the hamper/clothes basket.. Revoke privilidges for chores not done. Instead of saying clean your room...be specific. You bed must be made, no food in your room, clothes off the floor. Assign specific chores.. dishes, trash, sweeping whatever. Outline what they WILL do and what the consequences will be if they don't. Most importantly...FOLLOW THROUGH> she will fight you harder at first. When she learns you are not backing down she will get the clue.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:01 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • i would stop being the family maid. lay down rules.
    charisma10

    Answer by charisma10 at 2:02 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • Is it possible that your daughter is depressed? You may want to have her evaluated.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:11 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I kind of wonder about the depression too, you said she doesn't care about anything and argues a lot, I have suffered depression and I had a hell of a time motivating myself to get the cleaning done, I was more of a crier than an arguer but from my understanding depressed teens tend to go on the defensive. The advise the other moms gave was great too, if she doesn't have any sort of depression issues then laying down the law will be the best thing for her
    DianeMary

    Answer by DianeMary at 6:01 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I HAVE A 13 YEAR OLD DOUGHTER AND A 15 YEAR OLD SON AND THERE SO LAZY , I TOOK SHIT AWAY FROM THEM , GROUNDED THEM AND BUSTED THERE YELLED AT THEM ! THE ONLY THANG GETS MY KIDS MOVEING IS BUST THAT KIDS ASS SEAT SOME FIRE ON THERE ASS IT GET THEM MOVEING !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

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