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Is it okay for my step children to give their father away at our wedding?

We have set a date to get married, and I want to include the kids as much as we can because it's not just about my man and I getting married, it's about joining a family. I know the bride is normally given away, but my parents/grand parents are no longer with us and I have no siblings. So I thought it would be nice to have the children as the hosts of the event on the invitations and give their father away. Is this a major no no?

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Asked by Myakatt at 2:45 PM on Nov. 27, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • I wouldn't call it "giving him away". That could be damaging to the kids. You could call it sharing him with you. They aren't losing a father, they are gaining a step-mother, so they shouldn't have to look at is as giving him away. Having them walk down the aisle with you both is a nice idea. It's a cute idea, and I know that there aren't any ill intentions behind it, but depending on the ages of the children, it's a fragile situation. What about having them be a ring bearer or flower girl or even a best man/maid of honor? I don't know their genders so I'm just throwing ideas out there lol. Good luck with whatever you decide and congratulations on your marriage!

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 2:50 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • It sounds like a great idea.

    Answer by SWasson at 2:54 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • It is your wedding. Do it your way. has some really nice ideas for commiting to the family esp. for marriages like yours. Special vows or small gifts bringing the children into the circle of the family are reallly meaningful ways to do that. Having the kids 'give him away' is could make them feel like they are losing him to you. What if the kids..gave YOU to him.? That way they are consenting to taking you too as a stepMom.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:55 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I like the idea of including them in the wedding, it would be perfectly fine for them to walk him down the aisle. I have friends who included her daughters when it was time to light the unity candle in their ceremony. They worked the kids into certain vows, made it more about becoming a family than just man and wife. And both girls were junior bridesmaids.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 2:56 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • That sounds so cute. Awww, the love. <3

    Answer by Pnukey at 3:01 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • It's your wedding. Whatever you want is the right thing to do. There are not many no nos anymore.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:03 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I think the previous responders words of "sharing" rather than giving away sounds so great! I think this would be so special on the invites as well as actually doing it during the ceremony.

    Answer by EireLass at 3:06 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • Greeneyegrandma, I love your answer, the kids giving stepmom to dad...great!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • Call it presenting him to you.Its a cute idea.

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 4:20 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I was just using the term "give away" in wedding terms, but what we will be doing is asking "who gives their blessing for this man to marry this woman" This is where I would like the boys to step up and speak. They are 9 and 11 and I've been mom for 6 years now and the only mother figure they have. It is because of them we finally set at date. They've been begging for a few years now we tie the knot! However as I have no family to speak for me, I think it is more appropriate that the children give their father their blessings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

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