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Opinions please...

A friend of ours died unexpectedly this week and we would like to attend the funeral. Another close friend just told me that it was HIGHLY inappropriate to bring a baby (ours is 6 months old) to a funeral. What do you think???

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chefronswife

Asked by chefronswife at 3:43 PM on Nov. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 15 (2,045 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Think of the other people. This is a solemn event. Don't bring a baby - who would have no clue as to what's going on anyway - who may end up making noises, crying, etc.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 3:48 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • Wow...ummm...I don't know. First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. That has to be especially hard for everyone during the holidays, of all times. Anyway...if the only way you can attend is to bring your baby, I'd bring him/her. If you can, I'd arrange for someone to watch the baby while you go, though. Just make sure that if the baby does go that you make sure you immediately leave the funeral if it starts crying or making any interruptions.
    StefanieN84

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 3:48 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • If the only way you can attend is to bring your baby, then I would. If the baby is fussy, you and your husband can take turns being in and out of the service.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I wouldn't... I went to a wedding and there was a baby at the service and she was crying and everything. it interupted the whole thing. and wedding' are to celebrate so it's not a big deal but funerals not so much. I'd try to get someone to watch her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I would not bring the baby. When my Grandpa died my cousin brought her young baby to the funeral and he started to cry and fuss because of how boring it was. She had to get up and leave because it was disrupting the services. THEN she did the same thing 2 years later when our grandma died. She brought him and he started to fuss and cry (as a toddler now) and she had to get up and leave the services AGAIN.
    When my grandma died i was pretty certain that my DSS could have sat through the services without fussing. BUT i didn't want to be rude to others if he did fuss.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 4:05 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I'm the odd ball. I have always taken my children to funerals. It is their loss too. They deserve to mourn and learn about death too. Yes, other people are grieving too but children shouldn't be a negative. It actually should help because they can be a positive in such a negative time.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 4:08 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • Depend totally on what the family wants I think. But truthfully funerals are not a place for very young children that can not stay quiet. that are prone to out bursts.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:08 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • When my husbands grandma died all her grandchildren and great grandchildren where there regardless of age, some of them had no clue what was going on. Only one wasn't there because he was sick but instead of leaving his daughter home with the sick baby and her mother her dad brought her with, he was one of the pallbearers (sp) so I kept on eye on her and my son (was preg with DD at the time) I stayed in the back with them so they wouldn't be too disruptive but I think it has to do more the the specific funeral and the circumstances
    DianeMary

    Answer by DianeMary at 4:11 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I really think it depends on the relationship with the family. I think when it is a close family member who passes, everyone would expect you to be there with baby. If it is a casual friend or biz relationship I would say "no" out of respect for the deceased's family members -- if it is very close, personal friend and families are entwined, I would guess they would also be understanding of your situation. I think kids are pretty sensitive and you never know how this might impact them as well -- but it really depends on the entire situation. If it is small an intimate -- or a large affair -- we're Catholic so every kid was always around...but I wouldn't necessarily bring my child to someone's funeral/wake.
    AislinnAsparas

    Answer by AislinnAsparas at 4:55 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • IMO babies kind of keep things light in a time of such distress. I think if the family is okay with then the it's fine. Just give them a call and explain that you very much would like to be at the funeral but you would need to bring (insert baby's name here) and you wanted to make sure they were okay with that. If they are then go and just make sure to be toward the back just in case.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:01 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

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