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What do I do when a family member lets her son bully mine

What do I do when I have a family member who is to lazy to discipline her toddler? My son is 18 months her son is 2yrs. Her son takes every toy my son try's to play with, he stands above my son and points at him while saying something in a very threatening tone and pointing down at my son, her son hoards all my sons toys and smacks my son when he try's to play with them. If my son smacks back he gets in trouble because I don't want him to think it's okay. I try to redirect my sons attention on a different toy but then her son comes and takes that one too. My cousin does not pay enough attention nor does she care enough to discipline her son. It isn't fair because my son is constantly getting in trouble for things her son is allowed to do. I say "share boys" in hopes she will help but she either just sits there or pokes her head up from her computer to shout "SHARE" and then goes back to what she was doing . What do I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Nov. 27, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (5)
  • You politely tell the other boy "Ah, ah, ah....'Tommy' was playing with that. It's not nice to take it from him." Then you gently take the toy back, and give it to your son. When the relative asks (accuses?) you what you did to make her kid cry...you politely repeat what just happened. Don't make accusations about her parenting (no matter how much you want to! LOL), just be very matter of fact about it.

    Especially if it's in YOUR house. YOUR house, YOUR rules!
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 6:30 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • That's a very good answer, Thank you, I appreciate it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I am not good at this either but I think you may need to intiate to the other child in a polite way no we don't take toys away. i eprsonally am not offended if people do this with my kids and seems she won't even realiuze since she is so busy!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I know this situation all to well. My nephew gets away with a lot more than my son does. He pushes, shoves and smacks my DS and nothing gets said. One time when my DS had finally had enough he pushed back and I gave him a time out for hitting. He got extremely upset and I totally understand why. It wasn't fair that he was getting into trouble for doing the same thing his cousin was who got off scott free.
    My sister is a lazy parent and pulls the whole "kids will be kids" crap which really pisses me off.
    Yeah kids will be kids and occasionally hitting and toy snatching is going to happen but by NOT disciplining that behavior it's only encouraging it or letting them think it's ok.

    I 100% agree with TiccledBlue.
    If that doesn't work then I would just not bring my kid over there again and tell your cousin that until her child can play nicely that they're not welcome back to your home.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:12 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I have dealt with this in playgroups before. I get the older childs attention and say "Look, do you see Sophia? You made her cry, how do you think she feels? Do you think you can do something to make her feel better?" Basically I treat the child the same as I would treat my own for bullying. Since I practice positive discipline there is not usually any complaint from the parent of the offending child. Most kids really respond well to this, they usually aren't really trying to hurt or upset the child, they are just locked into thier own world & need a grown-up to help them see the bigger picture. Let him know that your child feels very sad because of how he treated your child, kids are very empathetic once they are reminded that they aren't the only ones in the world!
    curlycupcake

    Answer by curlycupcake at 10:23 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

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