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Can you help with an issue I have with my dad?

He was pretty much absent for a good portion of my life. He was with a woman for 12 years who was just awful and everytime my brother and I visited for the summer, he dumped us on his parents and his sister. Well through the years I became very close to my grandmother and my aunt who took care of us for so long when he didn't really care.
Now him and his sister do not get along for whatever reason. I think alot of it is the fact that my aunt finally shared with him how she thinks he's obnoxious, selfish, and has a drinking problem. All of which are very much true. But my aunt and I still remain close and she made the effort to drive 5 hours to come to my house for Thanksgiving when he couldn't do that and he is so pissed off about it! He called me right after she left... drunk... and was just being soooo pissy and annoying, I can't deal with his crap anymore. Obviously there's way more to the story than what I wrote...


Asked by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Nov. 27, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • my dad is the same way. He has his wife and her family...has had them for 10 yrs and dont really care for his own and is too stuborn to call or anything

    Answer by shay1130 at 6:08 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • Maybe you should just love them both despite your father's issues and try your best to stay out of the middle of it.

    Answer by lowencope at 5:59 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I declared my father dead to me 9 yrs ago for issues that are much like yours only more extreme. I was not willing to let him be toxic to my life and sure as hell not to my kids anymore.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • I would tell him that, no matter what he says, you are still going to talk to/love your aunt. The issues between them have nothing to do with you and you refuse to be put in the middle of their fight.

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 6:24 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • i agree with ashley.

    But if he continues to be really toxic and doesn't want to compromise then I would stop taking his calls when you know he will be upset or drunk..

    Lay down some ground rules...such as no calling when you've been drinking and no discussing your aunt.

    good luck

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 7:52 PM on Nov. 27, 2009