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My SS's extended visit with MIL causes him to regress. What to do?

Each time my 11 year old SS visits his grandmother, he comes home and is rude and disrespectful to me. His older brother does not visit anymore because he says their grandmother speaks badly of me. I feel that they are very confused because they both truly loves me and don't understand her unkind words. Their BM is out of the picture. I am their Mom.
It hurts me so much when he ignores me for weeks when he gets home. Then, just as our relationship gets back to normal, he goes for another visit.
I do not want to stop him from visiting. I want him to have a relationship with his grandparents.
I have spoken with my husband about limiting the time he stays or allowing less visits. He doesn't see any problems, though. My SS does not treat him differently.
He acts out towards the other kids, grades drop, throws temper tantrums, and acts like a baby for weeks after each visit.

Answer Question

Asked by amazingmayzie at 6:21 PM on Nov. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (1)
  • Are you allowed to discipline? If so, that may be your only course of action. Privileges are lost, he is stuck inside till homework is done and checked by you and dad and grades increase in school, temper tantrums he goes to his room and loses something (TV, video games, whatever means a lot to him), acts like a baby - gets treated like a baby - early bedtimes, minimal privileges, etc.

    Your DH needs to wake up to what's going on. Maybe no. minimal, or supervised SHORT visits by you guys is what's needed right now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

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