Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I wrong not to want to give my baby my boyfriend's last name?

My boyfriend's last name is Muhammad. His dad decided that he wanted to up and switch religions and his first and last name and wanted his son to have an Islamic name. My boyfriend's dad then switched to another religion before he died. So my boyfriend is stuck with a Muslim name that I don't want to name our unborn son. Am I wrong to not like his name? I mean he's not muslim and why would I want to give our son a name that has no family meaning? Shouldn't I give him his paternal grandfather's legal name? I'm stuck here.

Answer Question

Asked by mommy2be121609 at 7:37 PM on Nov. 27, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I think you have a good point. It has no family significance. I would talk it over with you boyfriend and see what he thinks. I think that giving him you husband's original last name(like you said) is a very good idea. You haven't said but does you bf want to change his name back to his father's original last name as well? Because it doesn't take much just some paperwork and time.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 7:41 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • My boyfriend feels like he can't help the name he was born with. He really doesn't want to change his name because he feels like its too much to go through and feels like a name is just a name. Its frustrating me because my due date is approaching and I've been trying to go over this with him since the middle of my pregnancy. I don't know if he feels like maybe me asking him to change his name or telling him that I don't like his name is me trying to change him or what. He really won't talk about it. He just says he can't help what his last name is and thats that. I've been trying hard to cooperate with him but if he doesn't help me out the baby will have my last name.

    Answer by mommy2be121609 at 7:56 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • Legally you can name your son anything you want.  I don't like the sound of my husbands last name and I have many documents in my maiden name because my maiden name has a cultural significance to me.  Our children have his last name and I use his name because I want to have the same name as my children.  Honestly it really doesn't matter to me, it really is just a name.  In the end though its up to you to decide, your boyfriend has told you he doesn't want to change his name, now you decide if you want to make an issue of this and pick a different name.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 8:12 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • Its up to you. My dads mom remarried and the guy adopted my dad. (they're now divorced). i hate my last name because it has no meaning to me. I'd rather have my paternal grandfathers last name. I won't go as far as changing it though because I'll be married one day and my current last name will be history. Do what you feel is best.

    Answer by starmoonlight at 8:22 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • you are not married and you are nor obligated

    Answer by sugahmamma at 8:40 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • You are not wrong to not give your child your BF's name. As the parent, you can name your child whatever you want. Your BF will still be the father, even if the child doesn't have his last name. My son has my last name, it was never an option to give him his fathers last name. We were not married and had no intention of marrying. He cheated on me while I was pregnant and I broke off the relationship when I was 5 months along. My son is now 13 and his father is nowhere in the picture (his choice). Do what YOU feel is the best for your child.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:53 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • This is something you and your boyfriend should try to agree on. Maybe since you're not married, he should have your last name. Many people keep their own names even when they are married. Or you could hyphenate. Or give your boyfriend's last name as a second middle name (one of my friends did this with her daughter because she wanted to pass her name along as well- her dd is 'first name, middle name, maiden name, married name.' Except in your case you could give him your last name and your boyfriend's last name as the third name. Trust me, no one ever knows the middle names- two of my kids have dreadful family names as middle names because I wanted to name them after my grandparents but was not going to stick the poor kids with those as first names!

    You might also want to ask yourself why the name bothers you so much. Is it because it's a Muslim name? Do you fear your child will face discrimination because of it?

    Answer by Freela at 9:35 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • What's wrong with YOUR last name?

    Answer by MamaK88 at 9:50 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • You are not wrong to give him your legal last name.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:35 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • in all honesty and i know ill get some not so nice responses but o well. if i was to have a baby without being married (i was so it didnt matter) i would have given my child MY last name. I think its too confusing when filling out paperwork and such to say oo no my child has this last name but mine is this.
    Anyways i dont think ur wrong at all.

    Answer by cudybug at 11:07 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.