Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How to deal with these awkward questions.......

I dont know what to say when people ask me about my baby. I tell them I gave her to a good home and I still see pictures and they just go silent and dont say anything. It makes it real awkward cause they dont know what to say except "are you ok". How do I make this type of conversation not so bad. What should I say to the people who saw me pregnant and now Im not and theres no baby to show for it.

Answer Question
 
kirstenshaye

Asked by kirstenshaye at 7:40 PM on Nov. 27, 2009 in Adoption

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • dont explain anything...just say the baby is doing great and show them a pic if you have one. Unless you are wanting sympathy from everyone...just leave it at that
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 7:46 PM on Nov. 27, 2009

  • It is extremely difficult and awkward to explain to people why you are not raising your baby. This is something that you will always face. Not certain that there is much you can do to make it better. People honestly do not understand or know what to say. I think what you say to people may vary depending on who they are. For some people, you might want to offer some logical explanation (if possible), and for others you might not feel comfortable doing so. You are not obliged to say anything unless you choose to do so. If someone is curious enough, they can ask and you can share as much or as little info as you wish.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:28 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • A good friend of mine recently told the rest of my coworkers she had placed her oldest child for adoption. We told her the truth.....she is an amazing mother and person and this doesn't change that. Then we asked if she wanted to share pictures of him. She did and we did like we do for all coworkers' pictures- we say how beautiful he is. I'm sorry they don't know what to say. In my friend's case we were just supportive and happy for her she is part of his life.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 2:51 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • A good way to avoid further silence is to say something like, "It was my decision that he/she be placed for adoption. How is (insert their mother's name, husband, something about their job, etc)?." When you ask a question at the end of your answer, it changes the subject in a gentle way that begs a response to something positive from them. If they poke further, just say you'd rather not talk about it.
    sizesmith

    Answer by sizesmith at 8:04 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • For people who saw me pregnant and don't really know me too well, I just show them a picture and tell them how he is doing. I might say something like, ''Oh he just started crawling'' or whatever. It's really non of their business and I don't want to deal with the awkwardness or possible mean comments. And then, just change the subject! If you don't have a picture just yet, just tell them he/she is doing well and leave it at that.
    ashleigh139

    Answer by ashleigh139 at 9:50 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • I told them he lives with his father. Which was true but cowardly.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.