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Do you mind it when??

I am recently divorced, and my ex has remarried. My children call her mom and refer to her parents as grandma and grandpa. I was just on the phone tonight with my 7 year old and I had asked him what he was going to do tomorrow. He asked me which sounded funner, playing with his friends, or, playing with his sister (my 3 year old) or spending time with his dad and mom. Would this upset you if you were in my situation?? It actually doesn't bother me at all. My three kids spend the majority of the year with their dad, so she, and her family are a very large part of their lives. But I just wondered if anyone reacted differently... Just curious.

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Asked by SlapHappi at 12:23 AM on Nov. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Level 7 (206 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • it's hard to answer not experiencing, but ... i think i'd be ok w/ that. mom and dad are terms child uses for those who care, provide, play and are w/ the most. the other parents are just biological parents. this term kids use more probably later on in their lifes as to distinguish between 'parents', i'd think w/ more pride to the lasts mentioned. it would possibly make me a bit sad on the occassion my babe was calling her his mom, but ... if that's how he'd see it, as long as he'd be happy, i'd be happy w/ him. time would show the truth who was better for what and when. i'd tell him the difference at youngest years to know it, could even tell some bed-time story or buy a book about say stepmoms as to ... notice me more.

    Answer by baby133 at 12:37 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • You can never have to many Moms or dads. There are plenty of teens out there who call their best friend's mom and dad, Mom and Dad instead of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Or people who call their in laws, Mom and Dad. And that doesn't seem to cause the same reaction in the true Mom's and Dad's eyes. So no it wouldn't bother me at all.

    Answer by Lesli at 1:04 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • it'd prolly bother me a bit but then i have to sort my mind out and think about it and tell myself that its really not uncommon and if my kids want to call her mom then thats what they have chosen, i'd first feel like my title is stolen but as they get older they will choose to call her whatever they would like.

    i think its awsome you are ok with it. i did react a little different when you said that lol i was like "whoa!"

    Answer by americansugar80 at 1:08 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • For his age, it's not weird. As the other PPs said, he just sees his caretakers as mommies & daddies. Now, if your kid were a teen & knew the difference, that would be different. But your son doesn't understand if or why it would bother you. He just sees it as love, and it's great that his SM loves him that much.

    Answer by emslala at 2:34 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • When I was growing up, I called all of my friends' moms "mom" and from what I understand, this never bothered my mom. None of my friends had a father figure (weird... as I was the only one with both parents) and all of my friends called my dad "papa". We are in our mid 20's now and they still ask how "papa" is doing. Of course, my friends are like sisters to me, we've been close for 13+ years now, all of us.

    As for my kids... DS1 is from my prev marriage and he calls my fiance "Jesse". He knows who "daddy" is, even though daddy is a worthless...(nevermind, that's a rant for another time) but to my child, "Jesse" is not just a name, but his title. Its weird, you would just have to know my kid. If DS1 started calling his sperm-donor's girlfriend "mom" I would be livid... but thats only bc I am the sole provider for him and xH has no place in DS1's life.

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 10:43 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • In our family the step parents are not called mom/dad, IF the bio parent is involved. Just the way we do it. We do however, have the kids call the grandparents mawmaw/pawpaw and aunts and uncles and cousins etc.....we just seem to not like the mom/dad thing. I say as long as your ok with it and your kids are ok with it, then it's fine. Whatever works for your family.

    Answer by robyann at 12:27 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

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