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OH boy! What do I do now--MIL question?

We were supposed to leave for MIL's house today, but DS has fever, cough and sore throat, it is over 2 hours away so at least DS and I are staying home. My DH and MIL h ad a huge fight on Wednesday because his birth father--who he does not know, he left DH when he was 3 months old, is very sick and my DH refuses to spend 1,500 and fly to see him, he does not consider the man his father, he has spoken to him once, okay sorry trying to make it short! I just called MIL and said that we would be unable to come because DS is sick, she called me a B! She said that she thought I was trying to get DH to keep staying angry with her, and she did not believe me! Before I could utter a word, she hung up! I tried to get DH to call her, but yes he is still mad, but was going to go--so they could talk things out, I asked him to go anyway, but he is worried about DS as wel. Should I call MIL back? What to do?


Asked by kimigogo at 9:03 AM on Nov. 28, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • My MIL got nutty a while back, turns out it was menopause. She was a pain in the butt for over a year, off and on. Finally she tells me about 6 months ago she is sorry and she is on meds and now things are pretty much back to normal. It was a tough year. You should hold your ground- if your daughter is sick, stay home. I think your hubby is going through some tough times right now. Even if he does not love his real Father, it has to be hard to know he is dying. It kind of comes down to who you should stand behind and in my life- its always my husband. Follow his lead- he is the one that is wounded and needs care. Good luck- I have been there and its no fun!

    Answer by wildboyz1994 at 10:03 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • PS--NOW Dh is livid about it!

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:04 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Let dh deal with her and you deal with your sick child...

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Chances are your child has a minor/common ailment. That should not keep the husband home. He should have a BIG talk with his mother though about speaking to you in that tone/words. Unacceptable. I can understand him not wanting to visit his birth father, and she should not pressure him into it. He should follow his gut instinct. And you should refuse to speak with his mother until he does and until she gives you an apology.

    Answer by EireLass at 9:09 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Do not call anyone who calls you a Bitch...that is horrible. Until she can come up with an apology, just leave her be...she will come around. Just take care of you and your children. YOur husband needs to stick up for you on this one...

    Answer by ilovedogs1967 at 9:10 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Wow- your MIL is your DH's mom, not yours. She's his problem to deal with. I would make sure he knows though that you want an apology so that he can spell that out to his mother as a "before we come over" type thing.

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 9:21 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • I would not call her back. Let her cool off. DH will handle it

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:32 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Your dh needs to deal with his mother. I would tell my husband to go to his mothers and talk it over with her.

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 9:34 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • OP here thanks for all of your advice ladies, my DH and I have been married for 13 years, and I have never ever had any issues (major) with my MIL! Dh is so mad he will not communicate right now--the Dad thing sends him over the edge, MIL been married 3 times after first one, and several shack ups, so if this is going to be resolved it looks like it is up to me, I will just be cool for now, but don't want this to fester, I am actually worried about her behavior, it is not normal for her, but have noticed her being VERY aggressive towards me in the past couple of years.

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:47 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Let your husband handle the situation, and let him decide how he wants to handle it. She already doesn't like you, and no matter what you try to do, you will get the blame. Don't try to defend yourself. It will do no good. This matter is between him and his folks, and he should be the one to deal with them. You can encourage him in whatever he decides, but I would not do or say anything else other than that.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:20 AM on Nov. 28, 2009