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my kids emo what do i do?!

Help my 13 year old girl is emo. She wears all black and she loves heavy metal and thrash. She hatesm all the clothes i pick for her. I refuse to buy her anything black but somehow she gets it anyway. PLEASE HELP!!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Jun. 24, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • It is ok, for 99% of teens this is not a harmful lifestyle. As long as you don't see any signs of destructive or harmful behavior, your best bet is to go with the flow. Let her wear what she wants but ask her to wear more "normal" clothing for events that it is important to you she look nice (visiting grandma, little cousins birthday, etc). The more you fight it, the more likely it is your teen will rebel. You could push her into actual bad behavior. Emo has become a bad word in the eyes of parents, but really it is just one of the ways this generation is showing their independence. Don't let it freak you out & try to compromise.

    Answer by nysa00 at 11:35 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • If I were you I would dress in all black liston to heavy metal, take her to a couple shows start loving it more then her and just hope she doesnt turn to gangsta rap!!! No seriously the more she thinks you are okay with it and enjoy it yourself the less appealing it will become :)

    Answer by kpwilson at 11:56 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • Listen oops I did not spell thay right ... BUY THE GIRL BLACK the more you hate it the more she will love it

    Answer by kpwilson at 11:59 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • Do you hate emo kids? - ClubSi
    Do the emo kids even consider the "emo-ish" music from the 80s as emo? .... Depeche Mode and The Cure were the first true EMO bands in my opinion. ... -

    Answer by vbruno at 12:01 AM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • I know emo well hang on it will move onto sonething new any minute. Buy her black support her emo choice that's all any teen really want, mine test the waters 8 time a day and today I am up. No one goes unscathed in puberty no one!
    Hang in there mom try putting on black and underline your eyes and lips black and do mom night out it might be fun!

    Answer by rosetoes at 3:08 AM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • Most of the time this is a phase. I went through all kinds of fun phases when I was a teen (go to my profile and you'll see a picture of me with a bihawk [double mohawk]), and it's completely normal. There is nothing wrong with your daughter wanting to be goth, punk, emo or whatever she wants to be. The more you fight her, the more she's going to do it and push herself away from you. But if you support what she's doing then she will do it until she gets tired of it (give it maybe 3 years tops, I promise they won't be years wasted) and then she'll move on to the next thing. She is just trying to find herself, and I feel that the journey there should just be left to be what it is.

    Answer by MamaPyratekk at 8:32 AM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • let her express herself but take pictures for her future kids :) Support her in her choices but show her alternatives.

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 12:21 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • It's a phase. Let her be a kids. If she's not harming herself, it's ok.

    Answer by ph0xdlady at 5:47 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I agree with all the answers, 1-8 and will probably only add the same thing, but here goes. It is just a phase. We went through it too. Remember when our parents were ragging on us about our hair, our clothes, the way we walked, talked, etc.? This is a very creative, albeit black, way of expressing herself. It is different than you or the next kid on the block. Sometimes it seems that they are trying to hide, with the hair in their faces and baggy clothes, but in reality everyone is noticing them, it is the shock factor that all teens go through. Whether it was in the 80s, 90s or today. Take a deep breath, she'll outgrow it, and enjoy your daughter for who she is, NOT what she wears. Treat her the same as always and she won't try to push the buttons as hard. I would however ask that she tame it down for the family functions and social outings, ie church, bday parties, etc. Good luck.

    Answer by Mae5 at 12:14 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • I agree with the above posters. I went through this in my teenage years, and thankfully, while my mother always encouraged me to wear colors, she respected my preference for black, and would even buy me black clothes when I asked for them. Being supportive will make it less appealing, and it will let her know that you respect her autonomy. Be on the lookout for signs of anything deeper, but probably, it's just a normal kid phase.

    Answer by PandyH at 3:10 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

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