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My sons dad?

I'll start off by saying my sons fathers left while i was preggo and hasn't seen his son.
Well he is coming down next week because we have court dec 18th. He says he plans of finding a job once he gets down here and plans on moving back, so he can be apart of his sons life. He is excited about coming down and i'm all for him meeting his son if he really does plan on being there for him. Well the past few weeks that we've been talking he has been trying to make amends with me. I dont trust him, but have agree to let him see his son, as long as i am there to supervise (he has no experiance with kids) which he agreed to. I also told him before he got to meet his son for the first time, we would have to get together and talk in person first. But now i'm starting to feel like its wrong for me to make him meet up with me before getting to meet his son. Any advice


Asked by vgiron at 10:02 AM on Nov. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,873 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think it is smart of you to meet with him first. When you meet up with him ask him how serious he is about being dad, and how long he is going to stick around. I would hate for him to see the child, the child get attached to him and dad take off- leaving child hurt. I would also tell him that the visits will be supervised by you (or someone you pick), and will stay supervised until you feel comfortable. I would also explain the 'rules'-- like how long he can have the child, what your child eats, if he has to nap.... and make sure he sticks to your rules.

    Answer by MizLee at 2:55 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • how old is your son? you could just be setting him up for heartache...what if he takes off again once your son is just getting to love him?

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:06 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Ive never been thru this situation but it sounds to me like your doing the right thing. It also sounds like he's okay with it. Why not have a little sit down maybe meet up for lunch just keep it nice and neutral maybe tell him a little about your son and then ask what he's been up to etc. I hope it all goes well and your son is able to have his dad in his life.

    Answer by 82ndairbornewif at 10:07 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • is he on the birth certificate? i would make him agree to paternity test and tell him that if he walks out on your son again that you will file for child support...if he's not already paying...he should be paying anyways but it sounds like he isnt if he has been away for so long

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:11 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Is the reason that your going to court is for child support cause he should be paying you regardless if he wants to be in this child life or not. It sounds to me that you are going about this like an adult and with your gaurd up and as long as you keep the peace between you two and be a mommy and daddy to your child then things should go well. Regardless of what he has been up to he should have been in you and your sons life taking care of your son. GKL with everything.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • my son is 15 months, the reason for court is to determine how much he will be paying in child support. NO his name is not on the birth certificate, yes we've done a paterity test.

    Answer by vgiron at 10:54 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • I would make sure i've got other members of my family there incase he tries to take your baby and run. That scares me. 15 months and no dad. Whatever! That doesnt sound normal. There is obviously something wrong with him. Why now? Why the change? I'd want answers! serious ones!

    Answer by forevermom75 at 1:28 PM on Nov. 28, 2009