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Sibling rivalry/jealousy. 2.5 year old and 4-5 weeks pregnant. Need help from moms with 2+ kids!!!

So I just found out that I am pregnant with my second child and I have a 2.5 year old, well, almost. Technically he's 28 months. How can I include him this early and throughout my pregnancy so that he won't be jealous of the baby? He will be 3 when he or she gets here so he will hopefully understand by then that babies need attention. I baby sat my 6 month old neice and that didn't go so well, he was really jealous and scared when she cried he would scream!!! How did you include your toddler? How is the toddler with the baby now? Thanks!

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nakoal87

Asked by nakoal87 at 1:40 PM on Nov. 28, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 9 (273 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I had my youngest daughter when my twin girls were 19 months old. The first few days were horrible, because they were used to getting all the attention, and then there was this little person there who couldn't talk, couldn't play with them, and needed a lot of mommys attention. I thought it would be easier since the twins had each other, but it really wasn't. BUT after about three or four days they got the idea that she wasn't leaving. I tried to include them by letting them get me diapers and other things I needed for the baby. That helped them get over some of the jealousy issues they had with her. Now the twins will be 4 in February and the baby is 2, and they are so close. I am so glad I had them this close together!
    fallnangel93

    Answer by fallnangel93 at 1:46 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • My younger 2 are only 21 months apart. Uggg, that was hard, not that I would change it, lol. Anyhow, what I did was just talking to the older one(s) and let them know that they were going to have a new baby. We let them in on the name discussions, I let them pick out a baby outfit and everything else. I put an emphasis in it being THIER baby too. By the time we got near the end of pregnancy, they were excited and looking forward to the baby too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • just keep talking about it. make it sound like a super special thing that he gets to be a big brother. because it is. let him feel the baby kick. and talk about how much attention babies need. when the baby is born give him special tasks that he can help with. you could even teach him how to change a wet diaper after the baby gets just a little bigger. have him grab the wipes for you. the diapers. let him feed the baby sometimes. have him as involved as you possibly can AND don't forget to give him his own time with just you and him too.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:52 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • My dd was 2 1/5 as well when I found out I was preg. I did tell her pretty much right away that Mommy was preg. and that soon she would have a bother or sister and asked her how she felt about that, which she was excited. We bought several baby dolls, diapers and bottles for it and showed her how we would take care of her new baby bother or sister and how she would help take care of her new sibling if she wanted to inwhich she did. Doing that alone helped her understand and got her excited for a new sibling. We also took her to the ultra sound appts and gave her ultra sound pictures of her sister to carry around with her which she loved showing off to people. I too babysat my sisters baby which was kinda ruff at first but in time after a few sessions of having the baby over my dd got use to it and enjoyed having a baby around. It just takes time, attention and alot of patience but it will get easier in time.
    AProsser

    Answer by AProsser at 1:55 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • My children were 3 and 4 years apart. I can honestly say that sibling rivalry was never a problem with any of them. We did not make a really big deal out of the new arrivals. We were pretty matter-of-fact about there being a new member of the family who was coming. We did not tell them way early, waiting until closer to the time. I never really had the time to play with my children a whole lot, so they were pretty independent to begin with. My hubby was self-employed and I took care of the house, yard, children, garden, and pretty much all the rest. I know a lot of younger moms spend a lot of time playing with their children, so if you are accustomed to doing that, you might begin early on to teach him he can play more by himself.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:58 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • My oldest was 4 when his brother was born and at that point we didn't really have any huge problems with him. We just told him early on that mommy was going to have a baby and he understood. We would always just say something about, mommy's baby in her tummy or, his new little brother... no real talks about it or anything. By the time his brother arrived he was fine with it and was really happy to see him too. You said your child will be 3 when your little one arrives so I think by that time he will be able to cope/understand better what is his time and what is the babies time with mommy. Just make mention of the baby occasionally. Get involved with a playgroup where some moms have babies involved too. Oh and being around your niece and having him help with her would be really great too... and you could tell him he could be a big boy like that when his little sibling arrives. Luck to you!~
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 2:55 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • My daughter was 2 when I had my son - - we had been talking about ways she could help take care of her baby brother for most of my pregnancy, and while I was still pregnant she loved "sharing" her blankies with my tummy and reading stories to him. . . . . it was cute! Once he arrived, I gave her jobs like bringing me diapers, wipes, blankets, etc. I also made sure to spend some 1-on-1 time with her each day while the baby slept - no matter how tired I was - so that she still got some non-baby attention. He'll be 1 in a couple of weeks and, while we do have occasional issues with Hannah not wanting to share her toys with her very mobile and curious brother, she loves to read stories with him, give him hugs and kisses, play peek-a-boo with him,etc.
    TiffanyMarie80

    Answer by TiffanyMarie80 at 4:04 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

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