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what would you say or do if this was your marriage?

ok so my husband plays his call of duty game every day since he gets up until it is 2 in the morning, well now that he is on vacation, but when is working days he comes from work,takes a shower tells me he wants to eat and while eating he starts playing his game until 12 am, never wants sex,he helps with the baby when i wanna sleep a little later, i was thinking on divorcing him,but then when he sees that i am serious about it he treats me like a princess for like an hour the most, and then goes back to the game again, he tells me he loves me when i bring up that i wanna leave him, and that he doesn't want us to leave, but he just won't do anything about it,tries to make me feel safe with him for some time and does nothing to change things, and if he gets mad at me he cusses at me, i don't know what do you all think of this?

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maryfer

Asked by maryfer at 4:31 PM on Nov. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • The game goes (completely and forever) or I go!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:36 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • So you would get a divorce over a game, sounds like either there is more going on in this marriage or you are looking for an excuse to get divorced.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • My husband is the same way about his dune buggy, truck and 4 wheeler. He spends all his money on those 3 things and barely ever gives me money, sometimes I have to beg for money to feed and diaper our baby. It's not fair and I am a SAHM , he thinks I owe him sex if he gives me a $20. I feel like a prostitute. My son and I now live with my mom cuz our needs weren't being met. We aren't divorced or legally separated yet. He won't change and I'm starting to realize that. If I were you I'd tell him that he needs to cut back on the game and spend more family time with yall. Maybe agree to let him play the game 3 days a week and a set amount of hours. Compromise. Good luck! ((HUGS))
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • yeah there is a lot going in this marriage, but i am not looking for an excuse to get divorced, i want to be happy not just home all the time, he never wants to go out, not even for family gatherings his world revolves around the game seriously, and i am too sad and scared of maybe thinking on a divorce but i am just tired of being ignored and not feel loved, we have had many talks about all this situation and he at some point seems careless if i divorce him, the only thing he says he wants if for me to let him see our daughter.
    maryfer

    Answer by maryfer at 4:46 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Dig out a calendar and fill in what you need/want. Have him do the same. Date nights sound like they would be great for you guys. That game seems to be causing some serious relationship issues. They should put a warning label on that darn thing.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 4:49 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • I think the game and gaming system would meet an unexpected and tragic fate....seriously!!!

    Before you go throwing around the divorce concept, you really should BOTH seek some marriage counseling (assuming you BOTH want the marriage to work), and try and get to the root of the matter. Trust me, the video game is not THE real issue. It's simply a deterrent to avoid facing the real issue(s)--whatever it/they may be.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 5:04 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • My husband does the same thing I got so mad at him one time I smash the consol, It didnt help, now he has a new one and we are going through the same issues all over again, he even gets mad at our two year old when she gets in the way! I've even tried asking for date nights but it never seems to happen. I can't help my relationship anymore, it's up to him so I only cook for my daughter and myself and enjoy my children, maybe if I stop doing everything for him he'll understand that I want attention too!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:34 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • From all the posts and questions that I am reading it sounds as if the game systems are like DH's drug of choice, I would stage an intervention and tell him you can play for X amount of time and after that it is getting put away. If he is acting like a child then he needs to be treated like a child. If that doesn't work, try a trial separation (move in with your parents, if possible) or go on strike and don't even acknowledge him for a week, maybe he will wake up and see what he is going to lose. Good Luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:16 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • I agree with anon :16... If you leave, he might pull his head out of his butt & change his ways.
    emslala

    Answer by emslala at 6:24 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Giving up an addiction isn't easy. Threatening to leave may not be the answer if he doesn't realize what the problem is. Be supportive & inform him then if he doesn't try then tell him you may have to leave.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:46 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

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