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How do Handle this situation ???

Ok so I have a 6 month old daughter my fiance's family and I are always fighting for one simple fact! They think they are entitled (sp) to pick up my DD when they want and bring her back when they want!! I strongly disagree and my DF (darling Fiance) just doesn"t know how to Feel i feel like this is going to be a never ending battle Yesterday my soon-to-be MIL and i set up a time 4 her 2 pick up and drop off my baby. 10am this morning she was 2 arrive and didn't so i took my daughter 2 my sisters 2 be looked after while i finished some errands MIL has the nerve's to call me at 12:55 screaming at me that she's at my home to get my daughter and that my baby will just spend the night.... I'am thinking is she out of her f#@%&ing mind ( Take into consideration she is epaliptic (sp) (has sesures and isn't to be left alone) She live's with her mother that has extreme arthritis she can barley walk and falls alseep in mid-sentence

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Nataleesmom09

Asked by Nataleesmom09 at 4:34 PM on Nov. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 5 (93 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • how do i Handle this growing problem... i think i'am pretty fair i let them have the baby once a week for three hrs. with a capable adult present.... also she thinks three hours once a week isn't enough... what do i do???
    Nataleesmom09

    Answer by Nataleesmom09 at 4:37 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Allow me to be honest. Your husband need to handle his mother. That is totally disrespectful! If my MIL behaved that way my husband would have nipped that in the bud from the start. Who does she think she is? She has some serious control issues! And on top of having other issues, it would be totally irresponsible to leave your 6 month old alone with her. Just my opinion. I didn't get from what you wrote how your fiance is reacting to all of this.
    mamasarias

    Answer by mamasarias at 4:42 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • It's your daughter, she needs to respect your decisions when it comes to her!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • You need to get this worked out before you get married. It will affect your marriage in the long run. Talk to your fiance and establish what your rules will be to see the child or anything else you are having problems with. Have him deal with his family (not you), you deal with yours (not him). Lay down the ground rules. There is no option for anyone to change those rules besides you and your future husband. If people can't follow the rules, set down the consequences. Do what you say you will do. Be consistent, be fair!
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 4:45 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • I agree 100% with mamasarias and if you dh isn't willing to stand up to his own mother then I would tell her that YOU are the parent and you want to make the best decisions for YOUR daughter PERIOD. What MAMMA says GOES! :)
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 4:46 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • I agree, she is your child. Not your MIL's! You carried her for 9 months not your MIL! Have you sat down and talked to your MIL about your concerns? If so and she is unwilling to cooperate and respect your parenting decisions than tell her she will see your daughter when you see fit and can arrange it into your schedule!
    williamsmom110

    Answer by williamsmom110 at 5:00 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • She is YOUR daughter not ur MILs, IF he cannot stand up for what u say then he is worried more for his mothers feelings! Thats a NO NO you are now the woman in his life that baby and u ar the ones that come first! First and formost ur daughters best intrests are more important than ur MILs!
    My problem wanst MIL it was my fiances kids, he is older than me and some of them are grown, they think they absolutely haqve to be in MY babies lives bc theyre their bros and sisters. Not on my life they are completely jealous of mine and when my daughter was a baby one of them left her sitting in the yard in a stroller and walked down the road to talk to guys!!! WOAH u couldnt imagine! I REFUSE to have them in their lives, irresponsibility and jealousy doesnt work for me. They all think that when mine are old enoug (18) they will come back in their lives and expect them to want them there, they wont want them there ill be sure of that!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Don't marry this man without premarital counseling! and pick up "Toxic In-laws." This is your baby, not a lawn mower; if she wants to visit the baby she can do it with you there.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 8:04 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Well this is pretty simple....tell your MIL "no you cannot take my child for visits. You have zero rights to my child. If you would like to visit with her you can do so while I am present". Sheesh! She's only 6 months old....she needs her mommy right now
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

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