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2yr old tantrum...What should I do?

My daughter who is two years old started having these tantrums. throwing herself on the floor and crying, I usually ignore them and when she finishes she comes and hugs and kisses me and tries to cuddle, my question is should I let her should I hug her back and comfort her, My husband says I shouldn't

When she does this I usually hug her but also explain to her what she did wrong or that she cant have and why etc.

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twogirlsandmore

Asked by twogirlsandmore at 6:45 PM on Nov. 28, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (7)
  • When my daughter would throw a tantrum, I would have everyone in the house line up and walk over her. We'd say, "Oh well, Ariana needs to get her waterworks on. Well, we're gonna go on and live our lives." Done enough times, my daughter would get up, brush herself off and say "Ok Mommy, I'm through with my waterworks. Can I join in with yo life?" LMAO
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 6:49 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • In answer to your question, NO, I wouldn't cuddle, hug or allow her to kiss me after she had a tantrum. That would apply that she does it to get attention. I believe in positive reinforcement, not negative. So, I'd explain that "Mommy is upset with your behavior right now and don't feel like hugging. Maybe later."
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 6:52 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • There is nothing wrong with hugging and cuddling her. When you ignore her tantrum, that is enough to let her know that her bahveviour gets no rewards. By hugging her when she's done having a tantrum, it let's her know that you pay attention to her when she's NOT having a tantrum. Get what I'm saying? Next time she has a tantrum, leave the room while it happens, as long as she can't hurt herself. When she comes for hugs, say: "See? Mommy loves giving you attention and love when you're not acting out." She'll make the connection, and there will be less tantrums in time.
    NightPhoenix

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 7:11 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • I should add these are not often maybe only once a day or less, seems to be more when my husband is around
    twogirlsandmore

    Answer by twogirlsandmore at 7:14 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • She is coming to you for support and asking for comfort during a hard time, tantrums are part of growing up. I already think you are doing the right thing. Tell her an option for when she is feeling that way and channel the energy by doing something else that helps her. Good luck!
    mzblack22

    Answer by mzblack22 at 7:58 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • If my son seeks comfort while/after a tantrum, I'm happy to comply. Kids that young do not understand their emotions, and they can be very intense. They also don't know how to explain what they are feeling. I would be devastated if I had a breakdown and was denied comfort from my spouse or family. Just as long as she is not hugging you and then hitting you, going back to her fit. If she typically does that, then I would deny her until she is calmer. My son will occassionaly beg for a snuggle and then swat at my face. He goes directly into his crib for time-out when he does that and stays until he is calm. Once a day is not bad at all. My son can have them multiple times a day on a bad day.
    ShadesofGrey

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 9:07 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • This is what I do and she wrote it out better than I could =)


    "There is nothing wrong with hugging and cuddling her. When you ignore her tantrum, that is enough to let her know that her bahveviour gets no rewards. By hugging her when she's done having a tantrum, it let's her know that you pay attention to her when she's NOT having a tantrum. Get what I'm saying? Next time she has a tantrum, leave the room while it happens, as long as she can't hurt herself. When she comes for hugs, say: "See? Mommy loves giving you attention and love when you're not acting out." She'll make the connection, and there will be less tantrums in time."
    harrypottermom

    Answer by harrypottermom at 9:42 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

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