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i feel like a bad mom... can you relate or help me any??

ok i had a baby 3.5 months ago my son is 3.5 years old.. i love him to death... but.... i cant stand him he refuses to listen wont stop hurting me or the baby.. we spank do time outs take toys away and even put him on a sugar restriction.. i do not know what to do anymore. i never really want to be around him. i do give him attention good attention.. but when i change the baby i try to get him to help and he runs off and gets into stuff.. i take him places just us and he strill acts out big time. i feel like such a failure that i am scared to death to take him to my inlaws house dec 21st
any advice would be soo nice


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Asked by Anonymous at 7:05 PM on Nov. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • 1st of all, your NOT a bad mom :) Quit being so hard on yourself! If he is anything like my 3.5yr old he is probably still in his terrible, horrible 2's! LOL My daughter can get plain awful. We did with her what you have done to punish your son and nothing seemed to work. How is his schedule? I noticed when we put her on a tight scheduled bed time routine she was a lot calmmer during the day. Try crafts (perfect time to do them!), reading books, letting him help with dishes and laundry....or you can do what I did, I tried a sticker chart...didnt last very long but its worth the try.

    Answer by angieluv at 7:10 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Yes, I agree. You are not a bad mom. It takes adjustments for everyone when a new baby comes home. You are trying really good things, the thing is, it takes time. And lots of it sometimes. You just have to pick how you will deal with him, and stick to it. When he does help, or is being good, do you tell him? That he's being a good big brother? With him, you may need to really focus on the good behaviours, and really drive it home that he's being a good boy.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:11 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • You're trying and that counts for something, you haven't just turned your back on him and not tried. A lot of children have problems adjusting to a new baby in the house. I'm guessing he was given all your attention before the baby was born and now he has no where near the same amount. ( understandable though ). Have you thought about a child psychatrist ? Maybe there is more going on inside his little head that he just isn't able to voice and put out there for you to understand. I'm with the PP who stated re inforce his good behavior point out how much you like it when he' sgood and reward him for it... show him that you still love him... mabye one night let your hubby take the baby and you spend a night with him just playing toys, watching a movie or coloring ....

    Answer by bubblycute at 9:56 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Mine r 2(b) and 3(g), She is just plain rotten at times though I know they r both spoiled he can be that way too, LOL he has recently helped himself to pumpkin pie an sweet potato casserole! not necessarily messy but still u cant put it anywhere else but the fridge. This is my problem lol,Thing is that even though ur 3 yr old is being the way he is its adjusting over time he'll change, mine r only a yr apart but can sometimes be absolutely jealous of eachother around certian times of sitting with me or their daddy. It is normal, they r going to both end up doing this eventually. Ill tell u if he really hurts the baby bad enough & he does understand & u make him understand u will see him change. the other day my youngest bumped his mouth on the wood of my chair & it started bleeding, she thought she did it i guess (bc she was havin a fit about something else) but she was so worried about him & u realize how they love eachother!

    Answer by babygirl8302006 at 11:21 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

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