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i feel like a bad mom... can you relate or help me any?? PIOQ'S

ok i had a baby 3.5 months ago my son is 3.5 years old.. i love him to death... but.... i cant stand him he refuses to listen wont stop hurting me or the baby.. we spank do time outs take toys away and even put him on a sugar restriction.. i do not know what to do anymore. i never really want to be around him. i do give him attention good attention.. but when i change the baby i try to get him to help and he runs off and gets into stuff.. i take him places just us and he strill acts out big time. i feel like such a failure that i am scared to death to take him to my inlaws house dec 21st
any advice would be soo nice

DONT BASH ME PLEASE I DONT NEED IT!!!!!!!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Nov. 28, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (5)
  • Don't give him any sugar, and when he acts up send him to his room; start taking toys put them in sight out of reach as a reminder of what he can get when he behaves nicely.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • what worked for me: my Son was really hyper and getting in to things and just being really bad and did not like taking him out anywere i tryed every discipline wise but that was the problem not sticking to one thing. I had to pick one type of discipline and stick too it because he was getting very confused about diffent ways he was getting into trobble also i put him on a good routine he needed lots of direction and focus points.... hope it helps
    star_6_1

    Answer by star_6_1 at 7:21 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Relax! It was SO difficult when I had my second child. My firstborn used the opportunities to get into trouble. I soon realized I was yelling giving WAY too many warnings from across the room as I took care of the newborn. I know you are exhausted right now, but make the decision now to lay your new baby down even when you are in the middle of feeding or changing, and go deal with the older one the VERY FIRST TIME you tell him to stop or see him doing something he shouldn't be doing. It is SO tiring, but after a few weeks or month, he will realize you are going to correct him immediately and he will start behaving better. I know the last thing you want to do is get out of the chair when you have just settled in to care for your newborn. I just started reminding myself before I told the older one to stop - "Michele, get ready to set Daniel down, because you know Nathaniel isn't going to obey." Being prepared to . . .
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 7:21 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • . . . Being mentally prepared to deal with it and get up helped me a lot. It is SO tiring, but it will get better. A BIG part of consistency is dealing with your son the VERY FIRST time you correct him. Don't give him a second chance. Just take care of it. It helps with your patience too!! You don't get angrier becuase you aren't telling him over and over and over again! PM me if you want to talk about it some more!
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 7:23 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • let me say that you are NOT a bad mom. You are human.....you are entitled to be overwhelmed and scared and frustrated and not sure about things. There is a lot of good advice here. And the most important thing i can say is that if it gets too be too much, just lock him in his room and walk away for a while. I dont mean to be cruel but sometimes removing yourself is the best medicine....and i don't mean leave the house or anything, as long as you know he's safe, it's ok to ignore his temper once or twice.
    CTC7122006

    Answer by CTC7122006 at 2:55 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

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