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would you be upset?

I made friends with a homewrecker a while ago then she started hitting on my man. She and I are no longer friends. I found out that he still talks to her. They still text. Its nothing bad, but I'm kinda hurt. He said they don't really talk and that he wants nothing to do with her but yet he sends her texts first? Its mostly how she and her kids are doing but still!!!! What should I do? He says I'm being ridiculous and I'm overreacting so I really don't want to talk to him about it again. I'm just hurt and confused.

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mom06and09

Asked by mom06and09 at 7:47 PM on Nov. 28, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (14)
  • I personally would be upset if my man continued talking to a woman I didnt approve of and he would be upset if I did the same with a person of the opposite sex. He should respect your wishes.

    and maybe this is immature of me but Im the type to just be like Its me or her, chose now ... but then again I have never dealt with my hubby talking to another woman behind my back or without my consent. He's had women hit on him and I just find it funny TBH.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 7:50 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • Homewrecker? That's a bit harsh. The man she was with is the homewrecker....just like your man. He won't let her go. So if your home gets wrecked it's bc of YOUR MAN not bc of her. Wives who nag are why men find women like her bc she won't gripe at him all the time. Learn from her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:51 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • tell your man how this makes you feel. ask him to see it from your view. step into your shoes. then draw the line. men need boundaries, you can't expect them to just do what you want- they kind of need ultimatums i guess.
    Hali_Taylor

    Answer by Hali_Taylor at 7:51 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • I have to agree with anons :51 really your man is the one that is wrecking your home not her. So maybe you can learn a thing or two from this ex- friend of yours maybe what you hubby really wants, likes ect.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • been there, done that. What I did was leave my husband for a short while. He changed for a while, then I found out he talked to her again while I was in the hospital. I could tell he did, because of the way he acted. He was feeling major guilt. They talked about me in the hospital and about her current BF, nothign serious.. but the fact remained that he promised me he wouldn't talk to her anymore, because I was not cofortable with it. The reason why I wasn't is a long story and I'm not going to get into here. My point is, after I found out about it I told him that was it Im leaving and not coming back. said I was not going to live in fear of him not treating me the way I deserve. said I just couldnt live like that anymore. He got on his needs with tears in his eyes begging me to stay and that he won't talk to her again. I said ok, but I new he would. so I talked to her told her that i do not need my husband hiding things from.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 8:00 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • me and that I was okay with them talking. Well she told me that he talked to her, not her talked to him. So I told my husband and he got really mad said she lied and that now he doesn't want to talk to her at all, just wanted to cause trouble. He realized then that she was playing us both, making us miserable like she was in her relationships. Perhaps your husband will need to see that as well before he moves on and realizes what he is doing. Just like mine did. GL hun. it's going to be tough

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 8:02 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • I'd be pissed. Just for the simple fact that she was YOUR friend, not his. And I'm sure he knows why she is not longer your friend, right? So he shouldn't have any contact with her. He's looking for trouble. And if it upsets you that much, why won't he stop all communication? Who is more important to him?
    I think, after actually reading other posts, we need more info. Did you know she was a homewrecker when you became friends? How? Some more info, please. (probably won't change my opinion, but still....)
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:29 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • If you stop being friends with her because she is a homewrecker then why in the hell is your husband still talking to her. I wouldn't care if they just text "how the weather over there" it's not right . You might want to nip that in the bud before it becomes a sistuation that you might not want to deal with
    waitin4u

    Answer by waitin4u at 8:49 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • I would be upset if my husband still talked to the women who tried to come between us. It would show me that he was actually interested in the women, or at least the thought of being with someone else. I would be upset and definately would take it to heart that he was still interacting with her. I agree with waitin4u. It's not right regardless of the situation. He should dislike her as much as you do, for trying to come between you two. No person is telling the truth when they say "I want nothing to do with her" if they're still interacting with them. The people you don't want in your life, aren't in your life. He clearly isn't showing that he doesn't want her in his life. I would ask him to cut off connection with her and share your reasons why. This isn't a healthy situation and it isn't right anyway you cut it.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:19 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

  • He is going out of his way, against the wishes of his wife for something he thinks is no big deal? No big deal means not contacting her. No big deal means not responding to her texts. If she is no big deal yet she is more important than you? What does that make you, less than no big deal?
    mom2queenie2004

    Answer by mom2queenie2004 at 9:30 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

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