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Should I feel guilty about TTC?

My parents moved my DH and I in w/ them when we got married. I was already pregnant, and both my parents agreed that they would rather we live w/ them than us have to put our son in daycare. I liked the idea, too. There was never an agreement on how long we ought to stay. We are all still happy w/ the arrangement. But both DH and I want to have another baby relatively soon. My mom loves the idea of us TTC - she says we ought to go for it. We are working on a plan to be in our own house by this coming spring, but there is a chance the plan won't come to fruition. So, I am feeling guilty for wanting to conceive - it feels wrong to do it when we might end up still living in their home when baby is born, even though they say it is okay. I'd say there is a 60% chance we'll have our own house by then. So, should I try or not?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Nov. 28, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (5)
  • I say go for it. We were in the same situation. We moved out before baby #3 came & my parents were mad that we were taking the grandbabies away!! :) They'd let you know if it bothered them. It's nice to not have too much time in between the kids too. Good luck!!!

    Answer by TolbertMom at 12:07 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • If all parties are ok with it, I would say go for it. I think it is wonderful that they support you guys like that! If it would make you feel better, wait a couple of months to see if there are any developments on closing on that house.

    Answer by katzmeow726 at 12:14 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • My parents moved my DH and I in w/ them when we got married.

    There is more to this than you are letting on. If it was soley based on day care reasons you could have just had them watch your baby and still lived in your own place. Something tells me you can't afford your own place and if thats the case I think it's a little silly of you to try and TTC again while living in your parents house. BUT if your mom is for it I guess....

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • OP - To anon: Of course there is "more to it", but there is finite space here to explain, so I skipped over it. At the time, no, we couldn't easily afford our own place. I was still in college, and DH had just started a new job, so we were a bit tight, financially. But since then, I've graduated, and DH has gotten several raises. We've waited to move out b/c we are hoping to move out of state, when DH can get transferred, and buy a house, not sign a lease that would lock us into another year in the town we are in. When DH gets transferred, we will be able to buy a house easily as long as we can take advantage of the housing credit for first-time buyers. That is why the plan is iffy - if he can't get transferred soon enough to take the credit, we will have to save for awhile longer before being able to do it. Is that specific enough?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • OP again - and another thing, the whole thing about daycare was that, if we had our own place, I would have had to quit school and go to work. Both my parents work. So they wouldn't have been able to provide us w/ daycare. That was the point I was making with mentioning the daycare thing. They didn't want me to quit school just to work to pay daycare. So with living with them, we didn't have to pay rent, so I could still go to school and my DH worked nights, so we never had to pay daycare OR rent, and we were able to save for a house. Just, not quite enough. Yet.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

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