Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I teach my boy it's okay if mom isn't there

I am a stay at home mom and have always been there for my son. Maybe more than I should. I am his playmate and best friend. He loves to spend time with daddy but if I leave to take a shower or to the store he does not behave the same for dad as he normally does when I am there. Instead he cries unless dad holds him the entire time, until I get back. I could just walk out of the room to get something and if he doesn't see me, he cries like I've left him forever. Never mind dad is right there. We left him with a sitter once and for the entire 2 1/2 hours he cried and would not eat or drink anything. We plan to try this again of course but for a shorter time. I would just like him to give his dad more of a chance and not rely soley on mom. He is crazy about his daddy but mommy is the air he breathes. Any advice from someone who knows what I'm talking about? I feel so trapped at times. I mean let me be already I need a break!

Answer Question
 
tresa2steppin

Asked by tresa2steppin at 1:28 AM on Nov. 29, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 3 (14 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • It's just a phase. Not much you can do except carry on. Keep doing what you're doing. And NEVER sneak out. I know parents don't like to upset their babies but if you sneak out it will prolong the issue. ALWAYS make sure you say goodbye and then leave. don't turn back. if you forgot something leave it behind.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:57 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • It's a phase. It will pass. I know it's hard but it is more unhealthy for him if you don't get out some. Feeling trapped is not a good feeling and it can, even if you don't think it is, affect your relationship with your spouse which int urn will affect your child. As the previous poster said for a while just let things be. he will adjust. Still go out. Do it at night so that you are leaving after his dinner but before bed. Let the sitter do bed time but make sure she is clear on his routine. Make sure the sitter is a familiar person. He will get past this. You will have a life outside of mommihood. :0)
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:02 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I do think this is just a phase myself, it will end. but here are some ways that you can help it go by quicker.First :try leaving him in a room by himself for 10 minutes,then 15 minutes then 20 minutes then 30 minutes then go to one hour playing. with his toys or watching tv. SEcond after that goes well, then leave him with your mom or a family member while you go grocery shopping. thirrd have someone in your family watch him while you and your husband go out to dinner, and again another night you and you hubby go out , to the movies . fourth : if your able to go to work two or three days a week. part time and have your mom watch him.And fifth when that passes maybe you can try putting him in a day care center only once a week for the whole day. wether your working or not. at least for his age (2 yrs old) i think not being of a family member thats long enough .
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 10:32 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.