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Do you feel guilty letting your husband take a turn with the kids?

I know this is wrong, but I feel bad if I ask him to take our son for a little while. It's like MENTALLY I know we are equal partners and he is just as responsible for our son's care as I am, but EMOTIONALLY I feel guilty if I leave him with our son for too long or if I make him get up with him early in the morning so I can stay in bed (our son does not sleep well at night so I am usually up a lot at night).

Does this happen to anyone else or am I just a nut?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Nov. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (48)
  • No, it happens to everyone. The other day I had to bake alot of food for my business and my hubby took my son to the doctors, because I needed more time. I felt like a complete failure,
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 9:12 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I feel that way sometimes too but you need a break and if you hubby is willing you should take him up on it. :)
    threeboysmama

    Answer by threeboysmama at 9:14 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • nope lol... every sunday my dh takes our dd to his mom's to visit for a few hours so it's just me and the baby, when our ds gets a little older, he'll be taking him too lol
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 9:18 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I went through that. It was a "mind over matter" thing for me to get over it. Now, its no big thing. They're his kids too.
    IrishMommaC

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 9:21 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • No, I never feel that way. At times I feel I am begging him to take them. Or I just say I am running to the store and leave him will all three before he can reply. I need away at times. I am a sahm and I am with the kids 24/7. Don't get me wrong, I love being with my children, hopefully I will always be able to stay home with them, but I need some me time once in awhile. LIke you said, we are equal partners. The kids also need that quality time with dad. Oh, if I am gone too long I don't feel guilty, I just miss them, so it is them time to come home.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Nope. The kids are just as much hubs as they are mine, and he should be spending time with them and parenting. I am a WAHM and when my hubs gets home he is 'the parent' and I work. On weekends hubs is an early riser (he's up before 6)- so he takes care of the kids when they get up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I feel that way also. That is up until this past week. On Wednesday, I had to work and our son was out of school. I didn't know what to do, even though my hubby was off from work, I hated to ask him if he could "watch" our son. He did and they seemed to have a great day together. On Friday, I was brave enough to ask him to keep him again while my sister and I went shopping. I had the best time, and I do believe from now on, hubby will be keeping our son more.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 9:35 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I'm sorry but I had to laugh. The reason is that my DH and I are tally counters and we talked about this. For example, we try to take equal turns watching him and chasing after him. My husband went hunting Friday morning and Saturday morning until noon. So that means on Sunday, he gets up with him early and watch him because I watched him all Friday and Saturday morning. A few weeks ago, he went hunting out of town. So he was gone Friday evening, all day Saturday, and didn't get back until after DS was in bed. Then he went to the Sunday night football game the next night. You bet I cashed that in and now I have me a "bank" of me time. It seems bad, like we don't want to watch our son and play with him. But truthfully it keeps arguments to a minimum and us equally healthy with our me time. BTW, we both work full time outside the home, so that's part of the reason for the split in duties.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I would never feel guilty letting my husband have time with his kids so I can have a little time to myself. If you feel like a failure or guilty because of it, I strongly suggest getting some help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Even as a sahm I don't feel that way. If he's home I usually just say "I'm taking a nap" or doing whatever and that's it. I don't "ask" him to watch the kids. He's not the babysitter, he's their father. I do have to force him to take the kids out of the house, though. In the 9 years we've had kids he's taken them out (like to the park) voluntarily maybe 3 times. I try not to let that bug me since he gets up with them on his days off (not that they need someone to get up with them but he keeps them quiet so I can sleep in) and he usually forces me to take a nap when he's home. Now that his schedule has changed he's basically gone from 5am-7pm five days a week and we only see him on his days off...he still gets up with the kids and takes them to school at 7:50am and makes me take a nap while he deals with our 3yo.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 9:41 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

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