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Ok Christian church go'ers, tell me how you would feel?

We have been attending our church for about 8 years or so. We have been active and participated and helped with most everything.

Last year we had a new couple join who immediately took over several church activities. The wife took over the nursery.

I also volunteer one Sunday a month to work in the nursery. But last week she called me at home and told me that they were having trouble with my dd being disobedient and speaking ugly to them and wondered what they could do.

I am in the other side of the nursery in the 1's an 2's group but can HEAR what is going on in the 4's class. I have never known of a problem.

It hurt my feelings I guess and now I dont feel welcome in my own church.

Mainly b/c her son who is 4 as well and the other teachers dd who is 4 as well...I have had problems with too....but I never dreamed of calling them to complain.

You just deal with it and as long as they are SAFE they are fin

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Nov. 29, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (10)
  • I just felt like saying....yeah all kids act up from time to time....I have seen yours do it as well.

    So what do you want me to do about that.

    I feel like this is making me have a horrible attitude about church.

    I feel like they are talking about me and my dd behind our backs or something.

    Have you ever encountered this problem?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I would ask fro specifics on what your daughter is doing. Tell her you have not heard of a problem.

    Kattykitten

    Answer by Kattykitten at 12:28 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I would try not to take it personally and I wouldn't want this to effect how I felt about my whole church. Ask your daughter about what happened.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 12:44 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • If you feel like your daughter is being singled out or that these people who "took over" things are creating a bad atmosphere you might want to take a break. Perhaps attend church with friends or family members for a few weeks - besides giving you a break from an uncomfortable situation, it might be nice to see how other churches do things. Or stay home & commit some time to personal spiritual study/growth as a family. A few weeks could give you clarity. Perhaps you will decide you were making a mountain out of a mole-hill or you might come to the conclusion that this incident was just one symptom of a church that is going in a way you don't like. Fellowship should always be comfortable & welcoming for you. When a church stops feeling like that to you, it is time to move on. It doesn't necessarily mean the church went bad or is wrong, it just means you need something different.

    nysa00

    Answer by nysa00 at 2:23 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • The situation is not the call about your daughter, it's anger you have in your heart toward the new couple you feel took over your position at church. You feel looked over because you were an active member for over 8 years, participating in most everything I am sure all your faithful work is or was appreciated. You don't want to have to go from church to church every time you feel your feelings are hurt. Ask God to help you in the area of feelings get hurt and move on to higher grounds. Peace!
    RidingPink

    Answer by RidingPink at 4:30 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • "The situation is not the call about your daughter, it's anger you have in your heart toward the new couple you feel took over your position at church. You feel looked over because you were an active member for over 8 years, participating in most everything I am sure all your faithful work is or was appreciated. You don't want to have to go from church to church every time you feel your feelings are hurt. Ask God to help you in the area of feelings get hurt and move on to higher grounds. Peace! "

    I couldn't have said it better! Also, maybe there IS ans issue where your DD is having some difficulty with certain social situations. As a parent, its important to address the behavior and coach your DD in dealing with large groups. Its nothing to get defensive about... All kiddos need direction and re-direction. I would probably appreciate being informed about the behavior. I'd rather someone ask me, "How do YOU deal with
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 5:32 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • your child in this situation? and What works for YOU?" Rather than that person issuing consequences I may be uncomfortable with.
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 5:34 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Perhaps you can have your dh pop into the class part way thru and see how things are going. Also is this lady in the nursery every Sunday or is there someone else in there with her? If there is someone else there perhaps you could talk with them and see what is going on. I've known some children who take a dislike for someone and act out because of that. If someone else tells you the same thing you need to find out why your dd is having trouble. If they say they don't have any problems then you need to perhaps go to an elder to discuss this problem. Personally I'd rather someone tell me my dd was acting out and see what they can do to help then let it slide but there's usually 2 sides to everything.

    My sister has a great way that she settles things with the Jr High when she has problems. She has a sign and a chair outside her door which goes into the adult classroom. The sign simply reads:
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 1:08 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • I'm not sitting here for being good. She's only had to use it once and it was for 4 boys that had always given their previous teachers trouble. Parents had no problems with it and they didn't even question her.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 1:11 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • I was a "faithful member" of my church, too, for nearly 25 years. I taught a sunday school class. I ran children's church. I played piano for every christmas program. I did puppet shows. I sang on music appreciation night. If you want to know what kind of appreciation I got for all my service to god, I'll tell you. NONE. It was the tenured members--the elders--who never once offered me a word of advice or encouragement. You have to decide where your priorities lie and whose advice, in your church family, do you value and who do you consider not worthy to criticize you. Certainly these newcomers don't have any opinions that you should give a tinker's dam about. Point out that, if this was heaven we would all be perfect, but it isn't. It's real life with flawed human beings and your 4-yr. old (like HER 4-yr. old) is behaving like a normal healthy child (which she is!). And offer to take over if she can't handle it.
    witchqueen

    Answer by witchqueen at 9:54 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

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