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Would you want your friend to have children if you know for a fact if??

Would you want your friend to have children if you know for a fact that she has Schizophrenia and is also BiPolar??

She is 25 and just been diagnosed, and she only takes her meds when she feels like it. Also she is planning on applying for SSI benefits, will she be able to qaulify??

She has also stated that she can not stand older children and when she is around mine she cant stand being around them or having them touch her. My oldest is only five!!

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mrssundin

Asked by mrssundin at 12:15 PM on Nov. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 19 (6,722 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • she would qualify
    and if i didnt want her having children, if she was planning on having one, I dont know how I would reply
    my aunt has some serious issues
    I just had a baby almost 3 weeks ago
    she's fine with the new borns so she keeps implying how she wants another baby, what she forgets is that she didnt take care of her first baby and babies need more than to just be layed with.

    my grandpa has cutsody of her 1st and only child because she wouldnt feed him, take him any where, and started beating him at like 2 years old. I was the only one who witnessed the neglect I was a freshmen in HS at the time and I would ditch school to come make him breakfast or lunch and I would stay at her house late to feed him dinner. Im the only one who knows what went on and I gave my word to my gpa that I would testify against her if she ever had hope of getting him back.

    sorrry I had to vent too
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 12:20 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • She should see a therapist on work on it from there first. Those conditions ARE hereditary. My oldest child inherited my Bipolar disorder, as well as her father's Schizophrenia. Things are NOT well for my daughter at all. She's a teenager and has been hospitalized many times already, starting at age 5. It is NOT an easy road to go down. And if your friend is not even taking her meds as prescribed, she is not safe. She will not be good to her baby during bad times, and her kid will be in danger. Please try to help her understand this. It is possible to have kids, but she has to be prepared for the long road ahead of her, and she HAS to take care of herself, as well.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • yes she can receive ssi...she cant work...as for having kids....i am not sure...i am one of two products from a marriage that my father was a alcoholic and my mother was a manic depressive paranoid schizophrenic w/ multiple personality disorder. my brother and i growing up clung together and turned out "normal" however it is by the Grace of God that we did. i developed a nasty drug habit when i was a teen and my brother for a long time had anger issues....he is now one of the top body builders in the state...and channels his aggression into the gym. he is also has his 0own personal training business....i myself have been off the drugs and alcohol for almost seven years and am now the proud mother of two and attending college with hope of getting my PhD in psychology (for obvious reasons). i would tell her to speak with her doctor b4 she has kids. my mother was not diagnosed with this till after we were both born. it was hard!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Well, I can't stand being around most other people's kids either LOL

    It's her life & her choice. You shouldn't get all wrapped up in what you do or don't want your friends to do.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 12:27 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • It's her life & her choice. You shouldn't get all wrapped up in what you do or don't want your friends to do.

    but it is not just her life, when she becomes a mother then her life is on the back burner for her child. so if she cant take care of her self now how will she be able to cope with having someone else to care for?? is that fair to a child??
    mrssundin

    Answer by mrssundin at 12:32 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I can't see how you can legally stop her.... It doesn't sound like a good idea right now, but things may change down the line, and it might be different with her own child, but she's not a relative, only a friend, so what could you do?
    pagan_mama

    Answer by pagan_mama at 3:43 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • No one can stop her. She needs to be on meds though and in treatment. I know many people that are bipolar and have kids and they are terrific parents...but they take their meds and are in counseling. She will qualify for SSI.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:28 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Not that you have any say over what she does, but having been married at one time to a SZ/Bipolar and having worked around them as a nurse, HELL NO!!!
    JamiDesigns

    Answer by JamiDesigns at 4:57 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • op-- would you have told my mom who is bipolar (her mother is too) that she never should have had kids? i mean it sucks to have a crazy parent but that is why communist countries like china makeyou apply for a licence to have a kid... to screen out the crazies, in a free country, anyone can have as many kids as they want. how old is she? does she take care of anything? (pets, plants) i guess, how are her self help skills. if you think she has no clue what she is in for when having a baby, maybe pretent to support the idea and take her to a childcare basics class. they have them at any babies r us and rec centers... she might see the reality isnt all cute outfits and cuddles. maybe she is just lonely?? can you get her a puppy instead?
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 5:20 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • umm no I live with my mother in law who has the same exact thing and without meds it gets really bad she is in her 40's and she will break things and flip out and go crazy ....its scary her mother is the same and stuck lit cigs in her ears stuck her hands in boiling water and said that her boyfriends Jerry told her to (he does not exist) and then left her husband and moved out for a month because she stopped taking her meds.... I would not recomend it at all my husband was not raised right by his mother and did whatever he wanted to do as a child and was a hellion I would not reccomend it at all sorry
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:21 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

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