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My daughter has become very 'mean'.

My daughter is 10 months old and has always been a very loving little girl. Here latley anytime i go to give her a kiss she hits me, or I take something from her she shouldn't be playing with she screams and screams until she gets what she wants. If someone tries to hold her she screams not so much a crying scream just a mad scream. It's really hard to explain everything but pretty much if she doesn't get her way she gets really mad and hits. If I tell her "no, no" she gets even madder and does it again. I really need help. She is my first child and I just don't know what to do. She cries if she's held and cries if she's put down. Does anyone have any advice?!

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Asked by CourtneyAnn8690 at 12:26 PM on Nov. 29, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (6)
  • Just wait for her to come to you for love, or hold your arms out for a hug and see if she comes to you. Don't try to force her. As for taking things away, all kids get mad if they can't have what they want. Do not give in to her. Ignore the tantrum by walking away. Walking away also lets her know that the matter is settled, and she will learn to move on. If she does not stop screaming within 5 minutes, remove her from the area to another room. A change of scenery might do the trick, too. When she continues to do things you don't want her to do, removing her from the area is also a good idea. Try to redirect her attention to something else she likes, that is safe. Taking her outside for a few minutes helps greatly.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 12:55 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Don't be afraid to discipline your child. I don't mean to spank her and yell, but to correct her behavior. My sil's kids are brats! Her oldest is a bully, and we dread her visits. I know that sounds awful, but it's true. The kid hits/bites/pinches other kids, and her mom has no control over her. I firmly believe it's because she let her child get her way with everything as a toddler, in order to not have to deal with her whining and temper tantrums. The kid is 8 years old, and acts like a spoiled four year old. I say you should nip it in the bud, now. The previous comment is a super great starting point. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Yup what they said. She's testing her boundaries & you to see if no really means no. Kids need & do much better with well defined, consistent boundaries. Send her the same message every time or she'll end up thinking no means "keep screaming & Ill eventually give you what you want. This also teaches her to associate crying/screaming to get her needs met. Start teaching her some basic baby sign language (eat, sleepy, diaper, etc) so she can better communicate what she really does need. Kids round this age start getting frustrated cuz they know what they want but can't say it yet. Also, praise good behaviors and try to ignore bad ones (obviously not the dangerous ones), if she purposefully does something to test you, like pouring juice on the floor, tell her "NO we don't pour juice on the floor, remove her from the area while you clean it up. Praise her every time she doesn't spill juice on the floor.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 1:56 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • She'll want the positive attention & not the isolation of doing wrong. She's also figuring out developmentally what is right & wrong so decide what's an issue every time (trying to drink bleach) vs the grayer areas (smearing veges all over the wall) & tailor your discipline to each situation but be consistent. Again, praise vs negative reinforcement.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 1:58 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • My daughter is 11 months old, and does the same things. That doesn't mean that they are "mean" how can a little baby be mean? but they hit because its a "new" thing when you tell her "no" let her scream be persistent. She's going to learn one day sooner or later mommy's in charge.

    Answer by MamasAngelPie at 2:04 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Redirecting is best for 10 month old. When you take something from her that she isn't allowed to have give her something she is. When she hits push her hand away and tell her that hurts mommy, then move on to something else. I used to hold my youngest daughters hands by her side for a second when she hit me. It's important to start now and to be consistent (no ALWAYS means no). I have 4 children all very well behaved (not perfect of course) and I think it's because I started loving disciplined early on (I like to think it's my parenting anyway lol). She will be sweet again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

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