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Should I take every other holiday even though I don't really care?

I told my stbx he can have every Thanksgiving and Christmas. Thanksgiving I have never cared about Thanksgiving and with Christmas I figure I will just make Christmas Eve my special day with my son so I can have the same day every year. But everybody says oh that's so sad you need him every other year.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Nov. 29, 2009 in Holidays

Answers (6)
  • No that's just stupid. Why complicate things when you don't need to? I think the people who are telling to are just drama queens!

    Answer by Seven07 at 12:49 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • you should care more about what your son wants/needs than what you want (or don't want). how do you think your child will feel about this--does he get a say--if not now, in the future?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I never celebrate Christmas with my side of the family. We always stay here and have Christmas Eve and Christmas day with my in-laws and then have Boxing Day with my family. It's been that way for the last 10 or 11 years. Some people would think that's sad or unfair, but it's what works for us. This way I can take a couple days at my family's with no rush to get back to have time with the in-laws. There's lots of time for visiting and relaxing with family and friends with no pressure to leave early to get back.

    You will know what works for you, there are lots of people who have Christmas Eve as their special time rather than Christmas Day. The only warning I'd give is that circumstances do change, in a few years you could be in a new relationship, have another child and want to do the family celebration on Christmas Day. Just something you may want to think about before putting anything in writing.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 12:54 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • NO biggie. My niece spends every Christmas Eve with her Mother and every Christmas with My husband and I. It has been that way for years! She is 16 now and will be spending Christmas with her Mother in Ohio for the first time this year. We will miss her but we are not upset it's her choice now that she is older. Plus she will be fun for New Years!(It's my husbands brother's child. He lives across the Country so we get his time since he can't.) I think it sounds like a perfect compromise. As your son gets older he may have a say but for now it sounds very fair if that's what you want to do.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 12:57 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I think it's great that you're willing to make it the same for your child. A Christmas Eve tradition with mom, and a Christmas day tradition with dad. That's a perfectly fair way to do it, if you ask me! And as far as Thanksgiving goes, if it's not a big deal to you, who cares? As your son gets older, you can always rearrange how you do things if he wants to.

    Answer by UCMamaMandy at 3:08 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I agree with the other ladies. Don't worry about what your friends say. If it works for you and your son, then do it.

    Answer by Christina807 at 6:11 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

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