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She doesn't deserved to be called Mama!!

My SO has 2 children by his 1st wife ages 3 and 4! Then we have a 8mth old! His 1st wife has called several of times wantin me to get the kids while he is gone to work for his 14 days! keep in mind that we have them the whole 14 days he is home! well of course the 4 year old is in school and she will not take him on the days that she has him! so my SO expects me to keep him while he is at work! I think its too much on me tryin to get him dressed and put on the bus and get my lil girl dressed fed and ready for daycare and me dressed and ready for work all by 7am! but he dont seem to think so! and he wonders why im so stressed out all the time! it would be a little diff. if my SS minded me but he doesnt! what should i say???

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Nov. 29, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (17)
  • u don't deserved to be called that either. u sound selfish and incompetent. those of us who had several children did it without a problem but you are too stressed to be a mom? sad

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • When he comes home for 2 weeks.... Make him do everything you do. Don't lift a finger. Tell him your on break. Other than that, you should have been prepaired to take care of his other kids too. Talk about your rules and discipline. Make sure you two are on the same page.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I agree with ANON :29 --- you knew that he had other kids when you got together you should have been prepaired to treat them like your own.... INCLUDING but not limited to having them full time. What are you going to do if you have more kids of your own?? Have a break down because you can't handle the stress that comes with the title of MOM???

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • well it would be a little different if she appreciated anything that i have done! I have had both of those kids 28 outta 30 days before i got a job! and she has recently got a job working nights and doesnt have a babysitter and calls my SO everyday telling him that she is gonna sign both of the kids over to him bc she's tired of dealing with kids and tryin to work too! i have tried to get the kids while my SO is at work so when he comes home she can keep them a night so we can do something! but she will not do that! i keep them and she doesnt return the favor! she says that she has a party to go to or shes gotta go to the bar! i would never sign my baby over to anybody or not get her bc i had to go to the bar!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • from what you just are going to be the MOM soon enough. I think you need to get used to that fact and deal with it.

    many of us can get 3 kids up and out the door by 7am. including a husband

    you prove that you can be a wonderful mom for those two kids - so that when the time comes that they are your S/O's full time that they have a mom figure in their lives who sees them as the joy they are and not an obstacle.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • You should have known she was like this before you decided to make your "significant other" your significant other. You're not even an actual step mom, so tell them you want paid to be a babysitter so you can stop working and take some stress off of yourself.

    I suggest you get organized. You know what you have to do each morning, so be ready. Have the clothes out, get up and ready yourself earlier, have breakfast planned, lunches made (if need be) whatever you can do the night before, get done. You know how it's going to be so either cut your losses and get out now or grow up and deal with it for the sake of the kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • And think about those who don't have baby sitters or family near that is willing to babysit.... THEY don't get a night to go out and be just them!!! I've been there done that! NOT FUN! But it can be done. Stop expecting things from her you know your not going to get and DEAL with it!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:02 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Wow! i have 3 kids 5 3 an 2 months plus i have a step son who is also 5! its not hard im with them 24/7! an your stressed out wow i dont even get a brake! damn i hate to see how ya are when they get older

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • It isn't that hard taking care of more than 1 child at a time. For one I work at a day care having 4 infants by myself and sometimes 10preschoolers and sometimes 5-6 toddlers.. Than I come home to my 7yr old and my husband, plus i watch a little boy after school everyday.... I never get a break either. Plus I don't have a babysitter for my daughter, if we ever want to go out. She goes everywhere we do. But, I watch others children often..

    Answer by kathynej7142007 at 6:24 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I have three kids, all very close in age. I don't get to go out, either. I have no one to baby sit, no relatives in the area. I get them and myself ready and out the door (including breakfast) in just over an hour.

    If you don't really want to be this poor little boy's mother-figure, then get out now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

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