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Santa and lies

First off we don't do the whole santa thing. We tell the kids about who ST nick really was and the great things he did and why he did them, but we do not do the whole santa christmas thing. But because kids have a tendancy to talk about these things my kids have been taught that if others kids are talking about santa, they need to be respectful of their parents choice to celebrate christmas in that way and need to simply say nothing in regards to santa being real or not.

So today at church, aparently kids were talkign about santa.. my son said one kid was saying santa was not real, and that a bunch of other kids were saying it was real, and he said one girl said "my parents said he was real and they wouldn't lie to me!"

So my son's teach did say that my son pretty much just stayed out of it, but seemed really upset by the whole outburst.
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daughteroftruth

Asked by daughteroftruth at 5:15 PM on Nov. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,602 Credits)
Answers (48)
  • On the way home my son asked "why is it okay for some people to lie, and wrong for others" I told him that it was never okay to lie. So he then asked "then why is okay for parents to lie to their kids about santa".....

    Ouch... not sure what to say to him. I told him we would talk later about this later when dad was home... but really its just to figure out what to tell him. Most of the people we know do the whole santa thing.... And I don't want this to affect the way he views them... and yet, I have allways made an effort to be as honest as possible.

    What do I tell him... its not like he is going to forget, he will ask again when dad gets home.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 5:19 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Tell him it's not a lie... these parents are not lying to their kids they are giving them something to believe in. If you're up to it you can also try explaining the difference between white lies and big lies and how they affect people.

    You can also try telling him that everyone has different beliefs and views on things. Some people choose to believe Santa Claus exists while others do not.
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 5:22 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I would tell him that Santa isn't so much a lie, as he was imaginary like characters in movies and cartoons and such, and that some people just have bigger imaginations than others. So their parents don't lie to them, they just let them keep on imagining.

    That is what I would tell him so that he wasn't thinking bad of people who really probably aren't and they don't think of santa as a lie.
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 5:26 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Is it truly a lie? Lies are hurtful and in my mind meant to hurt others. You can do what you want with your kids, but I find it a fun tradition. Do you do the tooth fairie? Easter Bunny? Leprechaun? Any of the fun holiday traditions? I just think kids are growing up so fast. I love the fantasy and imagination part of their lives. I love the simple fun. I guess I might be in the minority but I love to give them the fun and happiness that goes with all of that for such a very short time. Their faces light up, the laughter, the warm fun family memories created. I know you can still do that without these, but I see nothing wrong with allowing it if you want to as a parent. I also respect you and your choices for your own children.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 5:26 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • geez! kids are kids for such a short amount of time, why not let them believe in something "magical" if it makes them happy? by the time they're 6-7 years old, MOST children no longer believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy--such a small window of time to be worried about the seriousness of life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I personally feel like telling him that its not a lie would be lieing to him. Santa is not real. And someday someone is goign to have to explain the difference of white lies and big lies because I was allways raised that a lie is a lie regardelss of the size or the purpose behind the lie.

    WE have had a disscusion on beliefs, views and religions... but does santa really fall into that line? He understands that somepeople believe differently then we do... and he does well with that concept... perhaps its harder because I think he thinks that at church we all believe the same thing.... not sure how to handle it though. Hopefully dad will have and answer when he comes home....
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 5:27 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I dont see it as a lie St Nick WAS real.
    Just becuase kids can believe that he is in a sleigh and visits all the good children every year means nothing.
    They are children and they have imagination. There is nothing wrong with giving a child something to believe in.
    Mrs.Owen86

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 5:29 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • LIfes a dance...
    We don't do imaginary stuff like that... well not in the sense... We dress up and imaaginry games, but the kids all know that is just fun. WE have our own traditions, and have a random "thankfulness day" (just randomly pic a day of the month to celebrate all the things we are blessed with, usually have a cake with candles and movies and cards and just fun things and the kids usually dress up as super heros")... but I really have never lied to him even a "white" lie... and I think that the girls statment of "he is real because my parents told me so" is what really has him confused. He gets imagination, and he hhass a mount everest size one at that....

    I feel like I either have to compromise my beliefs or be blunt..... but I also wonder if he is wondering if I have been lieing to him about anything....

    or maybe I am just over reacting and just being honest with him will be enough???
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 5:36 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Let me ask you this, did you have all of those fun magical things in your life as a child? Let them have fun. They will grow up in this cold cruel world soon enough. My children aren't scarred. I let them believe. We had so much fun, so many fun pictures, so many fun memories. They still talk about it. No one is saying you lied to me, what else did you lie to me about. Have fun with them while you can.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • When our oldest realized there really wasn't a Santa, he said to me "Mom, there really is a Santa in every family.. It's Mom and Dad, they do all the work to make Christmas special so really there is a Santa, just not one that lives in the North Pole".. It made me feel good to know that he understood the whole thing. That it is a magical time of the year. If you keep Santa in your heart, and give to others without expecting anything in return, that's what Christmas is all about. I love to see our boys faces x-mas morning, when they come in the living room and see the Tree lit up with all of the special things that they asked for.. We feel that they work hard at school, do what they are asked at home, and help take care of all of the animals, they have earned a special Holiday, and I don't plan to take that away from them. It's not a lie, it comes from our heart, and that makes it soooo worth it!
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 5:40 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

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