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How can I be supportive to a friend who is having big trouble conceiving?

I feel like such a douche...even though I know it's not my fault I am pregnant and that she can't get that way...I don't talk about my pregnancy with her unless she asks, and she rarely sees me in person so the growing belly isn't an issue. We speak primarily through IM every night. She knew she had PCOS and just found out that not only does she have that, but also endometriosis and she had pre-cancerous cells growing on her uterus. Her Dr. said she will try all she can to get her pregnant as quickly as possible because if the cells come back...they will have to take out her uterus in order to prevent full blown cancer. I feel so horrible for her! She wants to be a mom and have a baby of her own (rather than adopting if possible) more than anything...and I just LOOK at my hubby and get pregnant. How can I be supportive and encouraging even when things look so bleak. I don't wanna give false hope, nor bum her out further! Help!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:34 PM on Nov. 29, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (5)
  • tell her to have more sex
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Sounds like you are aware and considerate already.This is her journey,it's really hard but there isn't anything you can do except listen and support her.
    boogernoodle

    Answer by boogernoodle at 6:36 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I agree with boogernoodle. I have PCOS and have been trying for almost 6 years. When my sister looks at her husband, she gets pregnant too. It is so hard to deal with. She may seem distant during your pregnancy, but understand that it is really hard for her. Her situation seems to be worse than mine and I am not sure what I would do if I was in her shoes. From what I can tell, you are doing all of the right things. You are a great friend!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • please be there for her and try to understand when she shuns you..its not your fault she just might have times when she feels like a failure..i tried for yrs to get preggo and the very day i went to the dr they told me i wanst preggo and probably couldnt have babys which was on my bday my very best friend called over the moon excited bc she was preggo...how horrible i shunned her for a very long time and she was mean to me about it and said it wasnt her fault i couldnt get pregnant...needless to say i didnt speak to her for a year!!! I would say you are doing good so far not pushing your pregnancy on her and just talking about it when she asks..its probably a tough emotional time for her to watch you grow with that baby...ask her how things are going with her tries and support her as much as you can...good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Fist off I want to tell you what a wonderful friend you are!! She is lucky to have a friend like you :) When I was going through everything the first time around I found out who a lot of my true friends are! You are doing a great job. Just be there for her when she needs to vent, and reassure her that you are there for her whenever she needs you :)
    veryproudmomma2

    Answer by veryproudmomma2 at 3:51 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

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