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Have a 8yo, is it too late to try for another?

Long story short, i was a single mom for 4 1/2 of my daughters life. Her "father" has never been a part of her life. Then I met my husband. We lived together/dated for a little more than 2 years and have been married for 1. We are currently going through the "step parent" adoption process.
My husband and I are back and forth on whether we should have another child. I am the oldest of 3 brothers. I was 8 before I became a big sister, and I hated and resented my bro my entire childhood. My daughter would be 9, (if we got preg now). She is less dramatic than I was as a child, so I'm not sure how she would handle it. I am concerned that if we wait much longer, she will be going through puberty when I have a newborn, and I know that is an extremely difficult time for a girl, and I want to be there as much as I can for her during that time. It would be difficult to do with a baby too.
I just need a few opinions to help us THANKS

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Asked by dragonfly0074 at 8:01 PM on Nov. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • i say go for it. nothing is more precious than a sibling. if your husband and you are ready for it, then its a great idea.

    Answer by denisekeene at 8:09 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I think it's fine. You could encourage her, once the baby arrived, to help you and most of the time older siblings enjoy that. Ones that I've known that have age gaps like that. She's old enough to not be like the really little ones that get so jealous of a new baby, but she could still get a bit envious of your time being taken away from her. Just make sure you set aside time Just for her. And talk... always talk to her and let her know you are there for her.

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 8:17 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Nah, I'm sure she'll be a BIG help! :)

    I was sort of in your same situation. I was a single mom with my DD until she was 5. My DF and I had a baby in 2007, so DD1 and DD2 are 7 years apart. I just had another baby 4 weeks ago and DD1 will be turning 10 on Wednesday.

    If anything, it might bring you two closer, my DD is a huge help and loves to hold the baby, give me a little break, or lend a hand with the toddler. Make sure you're spending quality time with her, and pencil in one on one time with her. It's challenging at times, but we make it work!

    Answer by ThaMCE at 8:27 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I have a 8 year old and a 20 month old. There are some rough patches but my 8 year old is mouch more able to understand the needs fo my youngest and is such a help.

    I say go for it!

    Answer by jelync at 9:35 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • My sister is ten years older than me and my daughter has children 10 yrs apart. It sucks. We all hated it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:23 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • My boys were 9 1/2 and 7 1/2 when my last child was born. My oldest turned out to be the best helper and really loved his little baby brother.
    My mom was 15 when her youngest brother was born- she took to him like he was her own baby, and for the 1st 4yr of his life she was his 2nd mom and took care of him. To this day they still have a very close relationship.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • go for it. my daughter was 4 when her first little brother was born(my middle), and eight when her other brother(my youngest) was born and let me tell you she was a big help with both. and now at 12, 8, and 4 they get along great

    Answer by clumm at 12:55 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • It's only too late if you are post-menopausal. The age of your other child(ren) is not related to your fertility.

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:57 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • My first set of kids were 19,15 and 12 when number 4 came along. They cannot imagine life without him, or his little brother who showed up 13 months later. I say if you have the itch scratch it.

    Answer by salexander at 2:19 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Thank everyone for their comments! :)

    Answer by dragonfly0074 at 8:06 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

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