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Shld I have to take my 18 month old to my Inlawshouse on Xmas morning?

My dghter is 18 months old and ever since I've had her my inlaws have gotten really weird on us. They have only been to visit her a total of ummmm maybe 4 times total. They are always expecting me to brimg my baby to them. Even on her Christening day. Yes they stood at the back of the church waiting for me to bring her to them. I refused. How selfish can one person be! Anyway, xmas morning I was planning on inviting them here for coffee and bagels rather than dragging my baby out and taking her away from her toys. Any thoughts?

 
MLM0503

Asked by MLM0503 at 9:12 PM on Nov. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,262 Credits)
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Answers (13)
  • Wow I was just reading some of the comments and some ppl really don't get it. I too have been through this with my imlaws they never come to our house and expect us to bring dd over theirs. I say this this is yours and hubby's child and YOU do as YOU feel. If his parents dont want to come over to see her then that is their loss. They shouldnt think they can see her when it's convenient for them. And to the op that said that your are acting like a spoiled brat and that your inlaws are not obligated to you, well op no they are not but when ppl especially grandparents do things like this to cause drama between the child parents and themselves then the mother or father should question what intentions these ppl has in the child life. if neither sides is willing to come to an agreement for the sake of the child then its best to stay your distant. Being a grandparent is a prvilege not a right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Tell them that you don't want to break her daily routine and it would be much easier on their grand daughter if they were to come over here.
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 9:15 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Yeah if you were just planning on chlling at home anyways, I would just say come on over.
    debmom07

    Answer by debmom07 at 9:22 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Just invite them over. If they say No you come to our house. Just tell them you are to busy to do that.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:23 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I wouldn't refuse to go over to their house just to do it. See if they would come over to your house and if they do, make sure they feel welcome! If they can't, and they want you over there, then why not? What does your husband say about this? My thoughts are they may already feel alienated for some reason already, last thing you want to do is put more space between them and their grandkid. Why do you think they didn't come to the front of the church? I don't understand why you think they were being selfish? because my first thought is maybe they are shy or something... make them feel included and loved.
    Seven07

    Answer by Seven07 at 9:30 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • A baby's Christening is about the baby and if they're shy they need to get over it. We invited them to dinner at a very nice rest and they declined for no reason! Also showed up late and sat at the back of the church! Now if that isnt selfish what is? My husband feels like I do. There are reasons I choose not to take my baby there. One being they have a dog that growls and barks at her and they refuse to put the dog away. Now this became a safety issue. This isnt about them and not to mention they havent helped us one but in almost 2 years! Thx for your opinion
    MLM0503

    Answer by MLM0503 at 9:43 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Just go over to their house. It's not a big deal. The toys will be there for your daughter when you return home. They are just excited grandparents. Don't spoilt their excitement by your apparent jealousy. They love your daughter too. They know YOU are the mother. It doesn't sound like they are trying to overstep their boundaries. Be happy that you have nice in laws. Don't create drama over nothing.

    You don't have to spend the entire day with them. Just go over for an hour or so. Use your daughter's need for a nap as an excuse not to stay too long.

    Once again, don't create drama just because your in laws love their grandchild.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • "This isnt about them and not to mention they havent helped us one but in almost 2 years!"


    My in laws have NEVER helped us out since we've been married (5 years). That STILL doesn't give me an excuse to keep my son from them. They love him, just like I do. And they aren't obligated to help you. You're a grown up lady with a child...start acting like one. Right now, you're sounding like a spoiled brat.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I would invite them to my house for Christmas morning. I would just tell them you have decided to start a holiday tradition of opening gifts and a brunch on christmas morning and they are more than welcome to come to your house. If they choose not to then so be it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • If you want them in your life at all, you might have to make an effort. They might feel that you don't want to be with them -maybe they were uncomfortable and didn't want to butt into the Christening . Maybe they are staying away so they don't seem pushy? You might have to make them feel welcomed. Anyway family is so important and it is worth the effort.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

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