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HI, My 2 1/2 is having tantrums and shouting almost everywhere, all the time

we talk and explain to him, but sometimes is too much and we just get really nervous as well
I'd like to know what worked for you
We are not the typical time out parents
We like gentle soft ways, but nothing seems to work
another things that's going on is, he just falls asleep if we are laying by his side, and t takes about 40 mins, every night and every afternoon for his nap.( pretty long right?)Any suggestion?

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Asked by lonita74 at 9:38 PM on Nov. 29, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (4)
  • Can't really help with the naps but to wake him up after about twenty. For the tantrums. Read The Happiest Toddler on the Block. It worked for us. It was in the news a few years ago. You feel like a weirdo doing some of the things he asks but it works. Just go to Barnes and Noble and read the first few pages, skip buying the book.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:43 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • It would appear that you have widely unrealistic expectation of a 2yo's abilities.

    If you catch him when he's tired, you may find that he falls asleep more quickly --but if he's found that you're agitated and eager to 'get away,' that will keep him awake even when he's extremely tired. It would be simpler if you didn't have anything to get up for after he goes to bed. Unless you wake up every morning all perky and alert, having had a great deal of sleep, you probably need more sleep anyhow.

    2yos have about 1/2 the brain capacity they're going to have at 20. They're easily overwhelmed by confusing expectations, by too much stimulation, by being tired or thirsty or hungry or feeling insecure or fearful or even being too excited for too long.

    In general, it's simpler to keep life toddler-paced and avoid tantrums than it is to talk an overwhelmed child out of being overwhelmed, because that's just more simulation.

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:56 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • The only thing that worked for me was time lol My son is now 6 but at that age till about 5, he was a TERROR. I couldn't take him anywhere and refused to grocery shop with him. He knows when I get stressed and he loves to play on it. He has gotten 95% better. I'm sure I could have been more persistent and consistent then but with hubby deployed so much, I had no help and let a lot of things go. That was my problem.

    Now he knows that no means no and I will follow through with what I say. If he's bad in a store, we leave and he gets something taken away when we get home. Hard to do with a 2.5 yr old, but what kid doesn't like TV, you can use that as leverage maybe. If he throws a fit in a store, take him to the car and let him get it out of his system and try again when he's done. Let him know you mean business and that you are in control, not him! I know that battle of wills all too well :) good luck!

    Answer by all4mymarine at 1:22 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Oh, and the going to sleep thing! We went through the same thing! My son would NOT go to sleep without one of us, we co-slept for a long time. CIO did not work for us, it was too hard on my son and it was hard on us. But, by 2yrs old, we knew he should be able to go to sleep without us. So, we would start with a routine and put him in bed, tell him night night and leave the hall light on. He would cry, get up and we'd put him back in the bed...kind of what Super Nanny does. We would do this over and over till he finally fell asleep. I won't lie, it took many many nights but it got easier. Now, God bless him!, I put him in bed, read a book and he goes right to sleep. Go with your instincts, but you have to make him think you are more stubborn than him LOL

    Answer by all4mymarine at 1:30 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

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