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Ugh... its the Holidays again... What to do??

My inlaws insist on us going to their house for every holiday, but they don't do anything for the holidays. My parents and Dh's mother lives in the same city as us. So we are expected to go to both of their houses for every holiday. Example: half of Christmas day is at my parents the other half is at MIL. It just doesn't seem worth it to go to their house. Last yr for Christmas they all watched TV at a very loud volume. They were watching some trashy dating show where 2 guys picked from a group of 12 women who they wanted to date. The women wore slutty clothes and did a strip tease and the men made their choice based on that. The kids aged 3-11 all just sat and watched bc there was nothing else to do. It was a disgusting show and not at all appropriate for kids. Other than giving the kids each a present that was it! That is all they did for Christmas!! For Thanksgiving this yr they didn't serve a dinner. cont

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on Nov. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • No turkey, nothing like that. They gathered around the TV and watched the Kardashian wedding and everytime a kid walked in front of the TV my SIL and MIL yelled and smacked them (quick note: I would NEVER let them hit my son). It was so pathetic. MIL called my husband and insisted we go over on Thanksgiving and that is all we did. They didn't even talk to us because they were caught up in the TV.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:59 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • I have tried bringing traditions to their family, but it always turn out horrible. Last yr I brought stockings for all of my SIL's kids (bc I know she wouldnt give them one) and she just used it as ammo against them. She threatened to take away the stocking if they did anything that she considers wrong, like walking in front of the TV. I have also suggested seperating the holidays. Going to his parents on Christmas eve and my parents Christmas day. That doesn't work either. MIL just calls DH and makes him feel guilty for not being

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:59 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • there and is mad at me for not "letting her" see her own son on Christmas. In the end DH feels bad for his mom and we always end up going over. If I say anything it just starts a fight. He starts saying, "We can go to your parents' house for hours, but we can't visit my mom on Christmas??" I wouldn't mind going over there if they did anything for the holiday. It just seems like a waste to go out of our way to be ignored at their house for a few hours when we should be celebrating and having a family Christmas together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • screw it!!! here is the deal.. STAY HOME!! have your parents come to your house, then invite them over too. It is their lose if they decide not to go. BUT JUST REMEMBER THIS CHRISTMAS SIT YOUR ASS ON YOUR COUCH AND HAVE EVERYONE COME TO YOUR HOUSE. We do this every year, for Thanksgiving too!

    Answer by r00j04j08 at 10:02 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • i never go anywhere on christmas morning! You could do what i do and be polite...just say that you would like to spend the morning with the kids and let them enjoy what Santa brought. Tell them they are welcome to stop by if they like...or say "oh, the kids want you to come see what santa brought them"..that way you don't have to go there later

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:11 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • You are an adult (I assume) you don't ahve to do anything. Go to dinner at your parents & skip the tv watchers. It doesn't sound like thye care if you could or not.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • " You are an adult (I assume) you don't ahve to do anything"

    LOL I know I don't have to go, but I try to make DH happy. He does want to go see his mom and wants to take our kids. I WON'T let the kids go over there without me bc of the hitting thing. It isn't that I don't trust DH, but if he has to use the bathroom or whatever I don't want the in laws to have anytime alone with our kids. Plus, since it is his mom he is more trusting of her.

    In the past when he has told his mom we aren't going she complains and complains. She guilts DH into going over there.


    I do like the suggestion of invinting them over, mostly bc I know they won't come over. They live 10 mins from us and have only been to our house twice in the past year.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • Your inlaws are capable of insisting all kinds of things... what's that got to do with anything?

    Do what you want with invitations and feel free to decline demands. Please yourself, that way at least one person will be happy.

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:37 PM on Nov. 29, 2009

  • try splitting up the holidays again, so one year your family gets christmas, the next year dh's does and your fam gets thanksgiving. When mil bitches, just remind her (and dh) that you were there for thanksgiving and you'll be there for christmas next year. GL

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 12:39 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • What we do since we have children now is stay home. The roads travel both ways and if they want to see us they have to use them! lol We used to go to each house, my DH's parents are divorced so we had his dad then his mom. Then my parent's house. Even when my eldest was an infant. But the next year, when he was a year old I decided no more travel. I grew up on the road during the holidays, I was the only kid I knew that had no clue what Santa brought until 9 pm that night. Just talk with your DH and explain you expect certain things on certain holidays and you really want that for your children. Hopefully he'll be supportive and you can do things your way. If they want to watch the smut TV, let them stay at their home.


    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 1:36 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

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