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What's the hardest thing about having a newborn and a toddler?

I currently have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and 34 weeks preggo w/ baby boy Xavier. Just wanted to know from moms out there with the experience, what's the hardest thing about having 2 kids so close in age? I love the fact that they will be close in age, because I am 7-21 years older than my other 3 siblings, and never had the opportunity to have a close brother or sister. I also know it's going to be hard as hell keeping up with both of them.....I babysat my 8 month old brother the other day while my daughter was here, and I damn near pulled my hair out! LOL....I was talking to God like "Are you up there laughing at me?!" But I love being a mom, it's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me....Any comments would help....just wanna know what I got myself into! lol...

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Asked by mzhazelrae313 at 2:58 AM on Nov. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • My daughter was jelous about her new baby brother I would include her in everything giving the baby milk helping me pick out his clothes. Be creative.

    Answer by goodmama at 3:03 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • hmmm.. .Idk.. but I can tell you what my mother said to me lol
    she had me.. then months later my brother.. we're only like 2 months apart.. but a year apart.
    she said it was the worst because you have two children screaming and everything and you have to care for both of them otherwise they'll throw tantrums because you're trying to take care of a newborn while the other is young.
    and tiring...


    Answer by kittenripmaygo at 3:11 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Hardest thing is getting them to sleep at the same time! I still cant manage & they are 3 & 4 now! Nobody lets me rest.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Wellllll. The hardest thing I think was both mine were sick. ALL THE FREAKING TIME. I spent four years sleeping in the recliner. I am not sure what the worst part was other then that.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 3:20 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • My kids are 15 months apart and they're now teenagers. I can tell you, the hardest part was everything was in stereo. The easiest part was it was all in stereo. Basically, they went through a lot of the same stages at the same time, but at different ends of it. Like one was entering a stage while the other was ending it. I got NO sleep, no time to go to the bathroom alone, nothing. One was up all night as a baby. The other was up bright and early as a toddler, ready to play. One was nursing to sleep while the other was throwing a tantrum because they were tired, or needed this or that. Or, if I tried to tend to the older one first, the younger one just cried and that was stressful and distracting in dealing with the older one.

    But, on the other hand, the good thing was they did things back to back


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:23 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • cont

    They did things back to back, so I didn't really "get out of the habit" of having a child at this stage or that one. At various points, they have shared toys, friends, etc. But the thing is, as close as they are, they are NOT the same age, and you have to resist the urge to push the younger one to do things too soon, or hold the older one back, just because the younger one can't do it yet. Just because, say, one is 6 and is allowed to go to ___, doesn't mean that the other one should be allowed to go at 4 or 5. Or that the older one should have to wait until the younger one can do it. That's not fair to either kid.

    I agree with the sick thing!!! One spring in particular when we did chicken pox (with them both) followed by them just passing pink eye back and forth as "my lost spring..."

    It's going to be hard, but you can do it. Just hang in there.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:27 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • 2 1/2 years sounds like such a huge age gap to me, lol. My oldest was 15 months when my 2nd was born. And then he was 13 months old when my 3rd was born. That made my oldest 28 months (that's 2 years, 4 months) old when she became a big sister for the 3rd time.
    I think the hardest for me was when they both wanted something. Of course, my oldest was only 15 months and she never napped at the same time the baby did (who ended up with colic and cried every night from 11pm-2am and had reflux). I was constantly exhausted. When the 3rd came around my oldest wasn't much of a problem. She understood how to wait and that sometimes the baby came first but the 1yo didn't. But they usually entertained each other while I dealt with the baby. But by then the 2yo had stopped napping. I rarely ate or napped and ended up having a nervous breakdown when they were 4mo, 17mo and 2 1/2. But it was worth it. They are 9, 8, 7 and 3 now

    Answer by justanotherjen at 8:10 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Mine are 2.5 and 14 months, and it is GREAT. They play together, the clothes can be passed down (rather than stored for years), the car seats are still within date. I wouldn't do it any other way. We're trying for another one. I'm nursing, so we'll see how that goes.

    For me, we had no sibling jealousy. Annabel loved her little sister. I didn't stay in the hospital long, just came home within a few hours. She would "help" the baby nuse by holding her feet, bring me diapers. And she knew that every time I nursed, we got to read special books.

    If you're creative, it is wonderful. You just have to be prepared to be a bit tired at times, and that people will stay stupid things (oh my are they twins... no, dummy, they're so not). Don't be afraid to accept help, and don't ship the toddler off to preschool the second a new baby comes home.

    Answer by apexmommy at 8:33 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • My kids are 2 yrs apart. The hardest part for me was not having enough one-on-one time with my oldest. Babies need so much attention and even though i included the older one as much as i could, it was hard on me as a parent. More emotionally than anything just because for 2 yrs she was my baby, then i had another baby. I know it kinda sounds weird, but i was saddened that everything changed, even tho of course i loved the new baby just as much. As they get older like around now, they are 3yrs & 5 yrs,they like the same toys and like doing the same stuff. Theres a lot of sibling rivalry going on in my house.


    Answer by Iluvmygirlies42 at 9:03 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • My kids are 26 mos apart (first two) and then 2.5 years apart (second and third.) The hardest part was having kids simultaneously need different things... potty training and ebf'ing at the same time was tough. I would no sooner sit down to nurse the baby when my older child would shout "Help, I have to pee!" Other than the need to multitask, it was fine. I actually found it harder when I had my third because of the demands on the oldest child who was in junior kindergarten by then- there was no 'rest and heal after the baby comes' phase because I had to go right back to getting him to and from school every day, etc. Relax- it will be fine!

    Answer by Freela at 9:55 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

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