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should i be angry?

ok so this year we decided on a budget xmas... 50 for everyone thats it.. well my husband ordered his mother and step father's gifts and his sister and spent over 200... i am angry because hes making me chose one gift for myself. He said he cant afford to spend over 200 on them and then another 50 on me. I am his wife and i take care of our kids, cook, clean and i get one measly gift... i know its the time of giving but when my MIL and SIL dont do anything for us Im pissed!

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:07 AM on Nov. 30, 2009 in Holidays

Answers (13)
  • Yeah I'd be pissed too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • i would be very pissed. my boyfriend and i last year spent 400 on my 2 kids a piece, then just a little bit on the rest on our parents and didn't get ourselves anything. so i told my kids this year they only get 20 and the rest goes on us. they didn't like the idea. my kids are way to spoiled. so i'm sure we will do the samething as every year spend all on the kids. lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Maybe he's going to surprise you and is trying to throw you off the trail?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Mine spends on his kids that do not live with us but never, I mean never buys me a gift..birthdays...Christmas...Never. So this year on his birthday I got him exactly the same thing he gets me! He was Sooooo disappointed! Maybe he will get that for Christmas as well....

    Answer by chefronswife at 9:27 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • I'd be mad, especially since you agreed on what to spend on each other already.

    Answer by camiam81 at 9:30 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Wow, I think somebody has forgotten what the holiday is supposed to be all about! You & DH need to sit down and rethink your priorities and why you want to get/give gifts, both to each other & to extended family members and/or friends. Sounds like it is some type of competition for DH to be able to give the *best* gifts and for you it is a matter of how many you get, not what you get or the fact that you're getting anything at all. And a $50/each budget? Girl, there are families whose entire budget consists of $50 for everybody - get some perspective.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • I would just be upset that he went over budget for them...but what caan you do.
    and like the previous poster said - some of us are trying to do it with 50 bucks TOTAL. I am trying to get stuff for 2 teenagers with 100 dollars. I called my mother and told her all they are getting is a card- same for my sister and my sister in laws family too. Hubby and I will get NOTHING this year. I jsut want my kids to have a few things and we will watch movies and bake cookies and enjoy the decorations beyond that

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:44 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • I would be angry about the fact that you two agreed on a budget and then he didn't stick with it. In a marriage, it's very important to be on the same page when it comes to spending.

    However, I would not be angry about not geting a gift myself. I think you're being petty. Christmas is about giving, family, and making it fun for the kids. My husband and I don't exchange gifts at Christmas in order to save money. We buy gifts for our parents, siblings, and neices and nephes, but not each other. I think it is immature of you to expect a gift as some sort of payment for fulfilling your role as wife and mother.

    If you feel something is lacking this Christmas because your husband spent more on his mom and sister than you, perhaps you should go to the mall and adopt an angel off the angel tree and buy a gift for a needy child.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 9:56 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • I really think you should read this blog post that I wrote a little while ago.  I think it will help you put your situation in perspective and keep you from unintentionally ruining Christmas for your family.


    Answer by ThrivingMom at 10:34 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • I wouldn't be pissed, I'd be sending it back.

    Our Christmas budget is saved throughout the year... it's $1000 per Christmas, period --that's food, decor, outings, gifts, stockings, everything. We've always been careful: friends get $12-15, family outside our house =$40 for their whole house (my parents, his parents, my siblings --we've often bought games for families) and $110 for our kids each --Santa present, Christmas eve pjs and books, stockings, and the gifts from us, and $110 for us each from each other. Until recently, we also funding our kids buying something (under $10) for very close friends, grandparents, each other and us) --but now they're 18 & 20 and working that won't be happening.

    Back in the day, when we were struggling over this, I was adamant that I got to GIVE dh a gift, even if I didn't get anything because of his overspending. And that was the end of that. Even he could see the fun in giving gifts.

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:35 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

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