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advice on custody issues?

my son is a year and a half and i currently take him to his father's house on wednesday and fridady for an hour and on sunday for two hours. i stay there because i do not believe my son is safe with his father. my ex is always complaining about not seeing our son enough(even though these are the days he chose and says hes busy the rest of the time) and argues he wants alone time. I think his parents and grandparents are putting things in to his head because theyre also demanding alone time(which i think once a week is plenty of time for grandparent visits). we dont have any court issued custody agreements but im thinking about going. ive been the primary caretaker of our son since he was born(even when ex lived with me) and there are several issues that concern me.
1. ex has anger issues(undocumented but there are witnesses)
2. couldnt handle the times i did leave him alone with our son
continued...

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Jnc91

Asked by Jnc91 at 10:19 AM on Nov. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 8 (211 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • 3. told me he was afraid he was going to hurt our son when he got angry
    4. smokes and refuses to do anything about it
    5. refuses to child proof home beyond the extent of a few outlet cover(leaves door to pool wide open)
    6. live with parents and sister who does drugs(i live with parents too but its a safe environment)
    7. he shares a bedroom with his older sister(not enough room for everyone)

    how likely is it for me to get sole physical and legal custody?
    Jnc91

    Answer by Jnc91 at 10:22 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • op here... oh ya my son screams if i try and leave him alone with his father even to go to the bathroom
    Jnc91

    Answer by Jnc91 at 10:25 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • i say real likly they would send someone out there i think if u requested it. good luck
    Wyattsmom205

    Answer by Wyattsmom205 at 10:27 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • were you legally married? if so, and you are simply separated, then both of you have legal custody until it is documented otherwise, which invites disaster.
    if you were never legally married, even if his name appears on the birth certificate, YOU are the sole custodial parent by default. meaning that YOU and only YOU have the right to legal physical custody of the child. unless he makes an issue of it, and decides to take you to court, there is no need to define those boundaries, because by default, they already are.
    as far as any anger/drug issues involved. DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT... even if it is no more than keeping a notebook full of times and dates for reference. gather affidavits from people (have them notarized, and they are considered legal testimony) in preparation for any potential hearing.
    hope that helped... i just went through a very nasty divorce- wish i had never married.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 10:36 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • I agree with ObbyDobbie. DOCUMENT everything! That is key. And make sure your witnesses are willing to go and testify if need be. I would talk to him alone. Have your parents watch your son. Ask him why now and what for. Tell him all your concerns (maybe not so much about him) but his sister and the drugs and not enough space and just different things. I would maybe even take a tape recorder. If things get out of hand you have even more evidence to take to court. Good luck momma. I'm here if you need me.
    wilesmomma

    Answer by wilesmomma at 10:50 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

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