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Would it bother you? (perferable for the stepmoms)

We understand our dh's have to support their kids from a previous marriage and I understand he can give them money on the side if he wants. but does that kind of bother you or do you just blow it off the way I try too...lol I mean I have to right?

Thanks!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Nov. 30, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (5)
  • I guess the difference would be the same as a parent providing the bare minimum vs a little extra. Do you give your kids a little extra? or is it just the bare minimum?
    I think this is one of those suck it up situations unless he's neglecting his other family by providing a little extra it sounds like he's being a good dad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Yes it used to bother me, but they are his kids and the older they get the more money they need, I try to look at it as they don't get to live with him, and it doesn't really affect our quality of life, so whats the harm, good luck!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:46 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • I'm not entirely sure you're aware of what is at stake here... do you want to have a guy who is generous or one who is stingy? Because, it has been my observation, that tends to stay pretty level across people's relationships. I mean, if he treats his older children in a tight-fisted way, expect him to treat his mother, his friends, his neighbours, his current wife and his younger children the same way. If he's generous, he's going to be generous with everyone. Yes?

    People who need or expect to be all of someone's life need to hook up with otherwise unencumbered people, not people with living previous relationships...
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 10:47 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • It depends... we pay too much in CS, but would not go for a decrease because it would only cause world war III....AND we are STRAPPED right now. I haven't gotten full pay at my job in a year, we are in major struggle mode right now, so if DH gave more money to SS18 without asking first and without figuring out who we'd have to NOT pay in order to give him extra money, yes I'd be upset. If times weren't so tight, I don't think a $20 here or there would upset me at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • If my husband had children from a previous relationship I would think better of him for giving more to his children. In fact, I am positive if I was not with my husband anymore, he would go above and beyond for our son. That is if his new wife will continue to support that. I think any man who provides for his children is a good man. It sounds like you married a man who, not only loves you, but loves his children. You have a true winner and shows you have excellent taste in men. The only oh no situation: is if he gives and really can't afford to give extras. We do need to stay within our means. Perhaps talking to your husband about a budget and setting some money a side for those special occasions where he can give his children a little extra. If you have a joint income house where your money merges, it would be appropriate for him to discuss with you how your money is spent.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:50 AM on Dec. 1, 2009

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