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has any sahm made it without going back to mom or dads?

my husband was talking to the girl on the worship team at church .in the begining of it first happening i went just to prove she didnt intimidate me. however,two months of that was enough and i refused to go back!i dont think (regaurdless of the fact that he doesnt give a crap about her) i should have to go look at it,the betrayal.so he finally agreed to go to counceling,but under his terms(it has to be someone from that church)so ofcourse there not going to be imparcial .im not sure if this is going to lead to a divorce,which obviously who wants a man that chooses a church over his family!so i want to be prepared to get my stuff together for me and my boys.i just want to know if anyone has ever made by not going back to there mom or dads?and did you ever find a job that you could stay home w your baby?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Nov. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • well if he leaves you, he has to pay child support, but most likley you will have to get a job, and put your child in day care.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Don't give up your home...
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:54 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Wait - he was "talking" to someone, or he was screwing someone? Two TOTALLY different things there.

    Either way, if he is the one involved in any sort of inapropriate behavior, there's no way in HELL ANYTHING would be on 'his terms"... and any attempt to get back on track would sure as hell not be made through/with the same place/people in which this behavior took place or w/ who had knowledge of it! Screw that!

    To answer your question, though, there's no way you'll be able to dive into a work from home job that pays enough to be a SAHM. They are out there, but it takes YEARS before you can make that amount of $. If you think divorce is in your future, you should probably go ahead & start working now & hiding the money away.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 12:56 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • I'm not sure I understood most of what you said.
    There aren't many lagit work from home jobs out there. You could look into medical billing, or medical filing at the local hospitals. Some of those jobs are stay at home. I am a SAHM and we couldn't survive if my husband didn't work. Like I said, there aren't many lagit work from home jobs out there. The ones that are, are hard to find. You can get a job and have someone watch your children. That will prevent you from having to move in with mom and dad.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:57 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • My 2 cents...he screwed up and that no longer gives him the right to set the terms. As for supporting yourself, you can get assistance but I'd recommend finding a part time job. And like rkoloms stated, he needs to leave, not you. Most courts will allow the mother to stay in the home since you will have most of the guardianship of the kids.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:58 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • pack ur stuff and get our ASAP...u do not want to take the chance of losing everything...and who says it's a bad thing to move back in with ur parents 'til u get back on ur feet? i moved in with my dad at the age of 37 and then got back on my feet. my kids have always been welcome to move back in with me - I'm their mom and I want whats best for them, that never changes.

    if he's that crazy about his church, let them have him...anyone that puts church before family is a couple cans short of a sixpack.
    dherrington

    Answer by dherrington at 12:59 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • I'm not sure if this is what you wanted to know, but I was a SAHM for 8 years from just before I had my first child, until my younger one started full-day kindergarten. Because I already finished my education and had established a career before I married and had my first child we were able to live off my husband's salary for those 8 years. Now that I my younger son started kindergarten (this fall), I am now working full-time as a special education teacher, in a neighboring school district, which works out perfectly around my children's school schedules. I get them on and off the bus and (like today), I am off when they are! Nobody misses me, and I make a nice little salary for ME! LOL :o)
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 1:02 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Forgot to mention....neither of us have needed to go back to our respective parents' homes--because it simply wasn't an option.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 1:04 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • My parents had two homes in their lot and one time or another most of my sibling went back to get their sh$t together.

    If you own your home your husband should pay for you to stay there. He made the mistake so he should move out.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 1:18 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Sweetie, nothing should be on his terms. If he is the one that betrayed you and you really want counseling, then you set it up some place of your choosing. TELL HIM that he goes to this counseling you set up at an impartial place, not his church, or he needs to pack up and get out of the house. He needs an ultimatum to give him that kick in the a$$. If he refuses then follow through and make him leave. You deserve better than this, so You stay in the house with the kids and find yourself a job in the meantime and start stashing money away now, even if it's just babysitting on the side, it's something, ya know? Good luck!
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 1:33 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

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