Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does having a bankruptcy on your credit report better/worse than an eviction?

I have a guy that Im dating who is so adament about not dating someone seriously with bad credit. I have an eviction on my record, due to some crazy circumstances, but am not worried because I know it will take years for me to get a good credit score anyway, especially not until after I graduate college and get a better paying job. The crazy part is HE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF BANKRUPTCY COURT! I think this is very hypocritical...so my question is...is one worse than the other? or is it all bad regardless? I can understand his fear from being in a long-term relationship with someone who is not financially responsible, but he knows that I had reasons to get the eviction I did, as well as I know his situation. Is it wrong for him to judge? Not asking for bashers or smart-asses...just answer the question thanks!

Answer Question
 
mzhazelrae313

Asked by mzhazelrae313 at 2:11 PM on Nov. 30, 2009 in Money & Work

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Bankruptcy is worse. To make yourself go into bankruptcy shows how much of a lack of money management you have. An eviction is one thing people will still let you move into an apartment as soon as you tell them why it happened. It takes at least 7 years for you to be able to start getting back you credit in a bankruptcy situation. You wont be able to get a loan, buy a car, get credit cards (if do go into bankruptcy you shouldn't have them anyways), or buy a house. Bankruptcy is tons times worse.
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 2:14 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Circumstances cause us to get in either situation. Learning from it is what makes us grow. Is one worse than the other? I wouldn't think so. It's not like either one of you planned your situation. I'd ask him what the difference is between what he's going through and someone else going through it. He may just mean now that he's debt free he doesn't want to get bogged down with someone else's debts. Sometimes men just don't think before they speak.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:15 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • It really has no bearing either way. I filed back in 2000. It's been the best thing I have ever done and I would consider if needed, again. I was still able to buy a car and a home. I had credit card offers within two months of filing. If he don't like it, don't date him. That's his problem.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Both are very irresponsible.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Maybe his thought process is that he doesn't want to find himself in a bad financial situation again. So he's thinking that he needs to be with someone who has their financial house in order. He's starting fresh and doesn't want to be influenced by someone who is financially irresponsible. I think that maybe his 'requirement" of good credit might just be the phrase he used when he should have just said "financially responsible". And I could be completely wrong here too and he may just be a hypocrite. The easiest thing to do is to have a conversation with him about him saying this to clarify things. It's best to be on the same page financially if you are planning on having a long term relationship anyways, so if you don't agree with the things that he is feeling, you'll know whether things have a chance for working out or not.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 3:01 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Is it wrong for him to judge? I think it is wrong for anybody to suspend their judgement and jump into something as serious as marriage. He is trying to tell you this is a temporary relationship. Believe him. Don't worry about him "judging you" He already has. Hear what he is saying, "This won't last forever. Don't get too wrapped up in me." He already has his out and will eventually say Good Bye. Then he will make it hurt worse by telling you that he never said it was forever. Listen to the underlying message. Get out now and right him off as a hypocrite. Even though he is just trying to be honest with you. He has no intention of buying the cow, but if you are giving the milk away for free he has no moral delima with taking advantage of you.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Anon 4:12 got it! Exactly. Sorry but I've heard the excuses too and what it really means is "he's just not that into you" but he wants to use you for sex, fun, whatever he can get right now. What really burns is if you believe the line he is running and then you hear down the road he married a woman who did exactly what he judged you for! It really does hurt so do yourself a favor and leave him to sit alone right now. He is not worth your time and energy. Trust me, I have had this done to me too many times not to know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • No, we are already together.....I have met his children, family, we have lunch at his job, have clothes over his house and everything. He has never said it to me but it has came up in conversations with other people. I always ask him "so are u talking about me?" He always is like "honey, we just started dating a couple months ago...im talking about years down the line like marriage...i dont want to enter into a marriage financially unstable," which is exactly how I feel. He tells me it doesnt matter what is going on now because we both have our own homes and cars, and neither of our credit score will be needed with anything that has to do with the other because we dont live together.....I still tell him he's a hypocrite though...
    mzhazelrae313

    Answer by mzhazelrae313 at 9:59 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN