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sons father, friends, let go?? what do i do? cont.

His parents do not like me.. he has a child that is 5 months older than my child (if you can figure that one out). My sons fathers mother has taken custody of this child and he gets everything he needs and more.. they love him. My child was made from the same situation (honestly, two friends hooking up, I was young). They don't want to be in my sons life and want nothing to do with him.. they used to buy xmas presants and such, but not anymore.. and they say its because i have caused their son so much problems.. I have a college degree, working on my second one.. i have my own apartment and a job.. i dont drink or use drugs.. all at the age of 20.. I dont see what I am doing wrong and how im the cause. In need of some advice please help.


Asked by MickeysMom19 at 4:24 PM on Nov. 30, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • Maybe they see you as a threat. Obviously this other child's mother is not in the picture. I'm sure that has a big reason as to why they are more willing to be involved with this other child. They have no control over your child, & that might hinder them a bit from keeping contact because it means they have to have some kind of relationship with you. They are in control of this other child, it's now thier child. They can do whatever they want with him without having to go through mom first. But, don't let this bum you out. Obviously these people are not worth being in your sons life. If they are not willing to try to be his grandparents, then the heck with them. Don't let some 1/2 ass grandparents make you feel like it's your fault that they are not involved with your child. It's not your fault at all. They are adults & can make an effort. Screw them.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:36 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Honestly if they don't want to see your child then forget about it. I wouldn't force my child upon anyone who didn't want him/her. Your best bet is to forget about them all, if he wants to be a father to your son allow it. But know that once you get the courts involved he gets his visitation which includes overnights. I made the dumb mistake in continuing to force my childs father to be a part of her life. And my daughter hates going to her dads. And now that the courts are involved I get in trouble for not allowing the visits. Be careful what you wish for. It might be best to just live your life and raise your child the best way you can.

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 4:33 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • And I highly recommend that you quit sleeping with this person that is so horrible. Move on and let him go.

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 4:34 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • From what you said about him, he's not a good role model. You don't want him for a partner but a friend with benefits. That tells me that you are giving him mixed messages. It doesn't sound like a good relationship. If you are educated and can recognize the negative about him why can't you see that you should find a better role model for your son? Leave those people alone and move on. If you don't feel like you deserve it then hopefully you feel your son deserves it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:35 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Drop him and his enabling family and move on for your sake and that of your child. You do not want to keep someone like that in your life and around your child. Drinking, cheating, bar fights, he is immature to say the least so let him go. His family has no place blaming you for anything regarding what a piece of garbage their son is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Nov. 30, 2009