Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What is your breaking point with your tween????

How much abuse do you take from your kids till you loose it?? I was wondering since I am taking soo much crap from my nearly ten year old dd lately. It's not unusual for her to sassy and bratty but lately she has been calling me names. They are hurtful and I usually try and act like it does not bother me but my feelings are getting raw. She calls me fatty and fat a**. It really hurts cause I give 120% to parenting my two kids. How do you handle it when your tween behaves like this???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:42 PM on Nov. 30, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (9)
  • Omg, I'm sorry. I would reflect on why she may have such little respect for you. Is her dad involved with her and does he support you as a parent? I would start using sentences like, "it's unnexceptable" next time she degrades you. If you ignore it, you are promoting it. Just a thought. Hang in there, raising girls is tough but worth it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • Tweens and teens are a part of everyone's lives that are in hormone overload. I know it sucks sometimes. Home is a safe haven for everyone. Therefore everyone gets things off their chest and not always in a manner that everyone understands. Every member of the family has a way of doing this. Tweens are actually feeling very vulnerable when they act out like you described. Is there any stress in the family dynamic at all? Work, marital upsets, illness, money.....anything that causes stress in your life pours over into theirs. Sometimes it could be them testing their limits to see subconsciously how far to go. When she does you let her know the words or actions are too far and follow through with the repercussions such as grounding for a fair amount of time. Its not easy being the parent of children at this point in their lives but stand strong and treat her with firm kindness.


    Answer by pnwmom at 8:57 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • just tell her that you want to be respected by her you are her mother , you don't need her to have this kind of attitude with you.

    Answer by incarnita at 11:35 PM on Nov. 30, 2009

  • My 9 1/2yo has a smart mouth but if she ever called me names she'd be grounded for an indeterminable amount of time. The names wouldn't hurt my feelings but she sure as heck isn't getting away with that amount of disrespect. Then again, I'm not here to be her friend. I'm her mother. I don't care if she says she hates me (which she does all the time since I make her follow the rules and do her chores which she hates).
    Not to mention if my husband heard her say something like that she would get a major spanking besides being grounded and my dad would go off on her (back in the day if we had talked to our mom like that we would have gotten a serious beating).
    As it is, with her smart mouth, I can only take much. She starts to get on my nerves with her snark and know it all attitude. Eventually I tell her to knock it off or take it to another room or she will be in all sorts of trouble. She knows better then to push me.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 10:56 AM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • my 13 yr old dd is the same way she don't care who she hurts its the tween thing and lasts unfortunatly until around 14 they think they know all they are rude and testy at this age you just have to have alot of patience at this age it's almost liek having a two year old only the fits of fury are worse than before! But take something away she really likes for a couple weeks when she speaks unkindly of you. YOur case maybe she's getting ready for her period my daughter got the same way before she started she was moody and bratty and rude...

    Answer by chica679 at 11:06 AM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Lately it has been at homework time. I don't get the names but I do get "I want a new family". I usually answer "after you finish your homework you can find one". (LOL) It is difficult but I try to stay firm. Because in the real world it is tough, and the kids need to know that. Usually once homework is done things go back to being OK. However, I do ground him and take away his favorite hobbies if he gets too far out of hand, because disrespect is disrespect no matter how you put it.

    Answer by Maxivette at 12:44 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • you have to nip that in the bud. what your doing isnt working.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Sounds like my 9 year old dd, she just turned 9. She has the snottiest attitude and it drives me up the all. She has no respect for anyone. I have tried grounding her and she doesn't care. I've taken away her hobbies, DS and etc.. She just does not care at all. She is very disrespectful, too. I wish I had advice, but I am in the same boat as you..

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • Wow!I guess i'm joining the club of "bratty tweens"... My 9 yr old has been bratty and whinny lately. She does't mouth off to me because she knows I have the power to take away her video games, but she whines over outfits now or if I ask her to help her younger brother with something. It's (awwww I always have to do this).. So, mommy your going to have to nip that in the bud because name calling us mother's is not cool! You are the queen of the castle and have the power to take things away if disrespected, she needs to know that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.