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How do I get my 7 year old daughter to listen to me?

She is an only child and is absolutely a Daddy's girl. She keeps telling me she doesn't have to listen to me, daddy's the boss, i'm a big meanie etc. HELP!


Asked by amylou18 at 12:01 AM on Dec. 1, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (7)
  • I agree with justgrape, you need to speak with your husband. Let him know that when you make a decision pertaining to your child he can not overide or contradict you even if he disagrees. It of course is best if decisions are made together with your spouse but that may not always be possible. Either way you need to show a united front so she will stop trying to go over your head to daddy.

    I also suggest some time with her as a reward for good behaviour, it may mean more to her then gifts if maybe you take her to a movie or a park. Do some crafts with her, alot of times bad behaviour is a way of getting attention.

    Best of luck...My son is 7 I know what your going thru.

    Answer by momisabrat at 1:09 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • I would spank her butt and tell her that you are her boss. There is no reason for her to be disrespectful to you. And you husband needs to step in a say something to her as well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 AM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • You could model the behaviour you want to see --demonstrate what listening, paying attention and doing what you're asked looks like.

    One mistake a lot of people make, training kids or dogs, is failing to give enough time to comply. If you get her attention, make eye contact, wait a few seconds until she's really looking at you, then give clear, simple instructions in familiar words and then wait for 2 minutes without saying anything at all or moving a muscle, you're already doing this. If you expect her to respond and comply when you're talking over her head, giving instructions while she's distracted or doing something else, speaking in long complicated sentences, giving order after order and losing your temper in under 4 minutes, you're worrying her and she can't comply because she can't hear you properly.

    Of course, it's vital to demonstrate doing what you're told, too, because otherwise she'll just think it's unfair.

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:31 AM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • You need to be consistent with discipline and rewards, always.

    I am very concerned with her atitude regarding her father. Is he controlling or abusive?

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:05 AM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Um You need to sit down with DH and have a talk with him. Your daughters behavior is awful !! to say the least. You are the adult she is the child she needs to listen to you and if she doesn't ....PUNISH her !! take away her favorite things for a week if that doesn't work do it for 2 weeks. If you cannot control your daughter at 7 y.o. you will never get her to listen to you when she is 17 !!!!


    Answer by justgrape723 at 9:03 AM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Your husband needs to tell her "When I'm not home Mommy is in charge. Listen to her as you would me."

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:49 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Then Daddy needs to say "Mommy is the boss too" right in front of the both of you, and vice versa.
    I also remind my 8 yr old dd that she is nice to her teachers and needs to treat me the same. Respect adults, even your own mother! lol
    I just told my dd this yesterday..."Making good decisions will get you good things, and making bad choices get you in trouble." Yeah, Im one of those nerdy parents. GL!

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 7:49 PM on Dec. 1, 2009