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Anyone breast feed one child and not the other?

I breastfed my older child until he was 13 months old, and it worked out very well. I had all day to focus on just the two of us. Now that I have a newborn, I am not certain that breastfeeding is the best fit for us. I have been trying for a week, but my son is still so dependent on me that taking 40 minutes to breastfeed every couple of hours is really tough. In addition, my newborn can eat for 40 minutes and then want fed again 30 minutes later.

Last night, I ended up giving my newborn a bottle of formula in the middle of the night because I was so engorged and she wouldn't latch on. I thought I was in heaven when I got 4 hours of sleep in a row instead of just 2!!!!

If you did breastfeed one child and not the other, have you noticed a difference in the development of the two? I don't want to "slight" my daughter.

(Please no lectures...just feedback...)

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Asked by TRooney at 10:23 AM on Dec. 1, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • I did and there was absolutely NO difference in their development...nor is there any difference in their health. They both have allergies and asthma.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • yep, I bf my oldest and not my 2 youngest, the younger 2 are healthier, go figure!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • My 1st would not latch or stay latched. We ended up not breastfeeding. I could have worked it out, I'm sure, but frankly, I wanted to bond not battle. My 2nd took to nursing quickly and nursed exclusively for 3 months. We then began to mix in BM and formula as I went back to work part-time and pumping wasn't productive. They are now 7 and 5 years old. They have traveled similar developmental curves, both are academically advanced and both are relatively healthy. It's my daughter, actually, that has food allergies.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 10:39 AM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • That's funny that you say no lectures because that's what you expect when you slip the word formula in their. I only have one child but I'm not sure if I will BF the next one. It was really hard for me, it took almost 3 weeks for the excruciating pain to go away. My sis has two and her first was an awful breastfeeder and she just couldn't do it but the second one was way easier. She felt barely any pain at all. This makes me think that a lot of times it's how the baby is with it. I feel like sometimes it is just too much, you can't sit on the couch all day with a baby atatched to you. We all know breast milk is better than formula but formula is not poison. They use to feed babies that caro syrup and they were fine. Formula is better than ever so if you have to use it don't feel bad.

    Answer by natvitty at 10:48 AM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • My mom breastfed me but not my sister. My sister has a ton of issues, and that's putting it lightly.

    As far the engorgement...that is just a temporary problem. All you have to do is hand squeeze a little extra milk in the sink before you feed so your baby can latch on.

    I breastfed my newborn when my toddler was 20 months old and I think it made things easier for me. Sure I had to nurse every 2 hours, but I never had to wash bottles, buy formula, mix formula, etc. As a busy mom of 2 in diapers, breastfeeding made things a lot easier for me.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 11:00 AM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • I EFB with my youngest, he was allergic to milk products. I also had a 22 month old at home, so I do know what you mean by being tied down for 40 mins then 30 mins later the baby wants to feed again. In my case I had no choice but to BF. The first two weeks were the hardest but after that it leveled off and I had no issues with feeding one while the other was playing or feeding her baby. My oldest 2 were formula fed and the youngest was EBF so as far as development goes my oldest two have no issues etc. while the youngest has alot LOL..

    Answer by midnightmoma at 11:13 AM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • I strongly believe that both of my children deserved the best platform of health I could provide so it was breastmilk for both. No matter how hard is was on me the thought that my child living with a lifetime of possible problems because I "couldn't do it" was just too much for me to bear. I would never be able to live with myself if my child ended up with problems because I would always have the reminder of my selfish decision to stop for ME and the horrible effects MY decision had on my child. I figured a year of difficulties was a million times better then the possibilities of a lifetime of difficulties. As with everything else it does get easier. I am sure you can see I thought quite extensively about it during all those feedings. Good Luck with your decision but I have complete faith that you can do it all!!


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Get a sling. It gets easier... In 3 or 4 months after washing bottles all day and buying formula and having to remember to take it everywhere... you will be regretting the decision to give up now because breastfeeding gets so easy.

    You're a week in... you should be doing nothing but nursing and resting. Do you have any family or friends that could help with your older child? The baby will get better at nursing, it just takes a little time. You will have to adjust to two in the house no matter what, nursing will actually make it easier once you get that sling we talked about before. You can do any number of chores and childcare duties all while baby nurses. Co-sleep, and you can get a full nights rest with little interruption.

    I've got 2 boys and I have nursed them both. I wouldn't dream of doing it any other way now that I know what goes into formula and what it's all about. Not worth the risk.

    Answer by LeanneC at 12:31 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • I have four children, breastfed two and formula fed two. Rather than getting into reasons why some were formula fed and some not I will say that they did not develop differently.

    I don’t believe in the immune system thing, the two that were breastfed were my sickest and I do not believe it was due to breast milk, nor do I believe the other two were fed some super immune fortifying formula. I believe they were fed and developed their immune systems as intended from birth on regardless of what they ate their first year.

    All four of my children are working above their grade level; they are all different children with different personalities but have developed wonderfully. I do not consider the food they ate their first year to be the reason they are ahead of their peers, but rather pro-active parenting where I’ve been working with them very early on.

    Answer by Knightquester at 12:44 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Back again. :) I wanted to address something that's come up in both the q

    Answer by ldmrmom at 12:50 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

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