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Do we have any adult adoptees who grew up with open adoption? How do you feel about it?

I know that many of us would like to hear from adoptees who have grown up with open adoption. Most of us realize that there are still painful issues of loss to work out, but we hope that when adoption is necessary, having openness will benefit the adoptee.

For adult adoptees who did not grow up with open adoptions, how do you think you would have felt about that? I know that, if asked, children would say they want to stay with their mother/firstmother and not be placed. I also realize that children have no say in the matter. Do you think that open adoption would have been preferable so you would not have been cut off from your genetic heritage?


Asked by Iamgr8teful at 1:56 PM on Dec. 1, 2009 in Adoption

Level 25 (23,279 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • I grew up in a very open adoption, and I am 27 years old.  I can't speak for anyone else but I will be more than happy to answer any  questions. Growing up I always knew why my birth mother chose to give me to my adoptive family and I was very thankful. My birth mother was very close to my adoptive family so she got to see me when ever she really chose to, my birth father also was able to contact me but really didn't choose to contact me until I was in my teens.  I can not say enough good things about open adoption, I always knew about my heritage, it was like having a giant family, when I was younger I had some major medical issues and because of the openness the doctors were able to ask about about my family's medical history and were able to not only save my life but cure me.  If anyone has anymore questions feel free to pass me a note..


    Answer by MiddletonFamily at 4:29 PM on Dec. 20, 2009

  • i did not meet my birth family until I was 19 years old. A relative from my birth family found me and I wish she never did, I think they just wanted money. I never met my birth father, but my birth mother was liviing in a trailer park with her extended family, the place reaked of cigarette smoke and those people had nasty mouthes on them, I couldn't wait to get out of there. I try not to have much contact with them, but sometimes they contact me and make comments about how broke they are. I feel like they think I owe them because I grew up with luxury and they did not. I'm am so thankful that my birth mother gave me up when I was a newborn and I did not have to have an open adoption. I wish that they never found me and would just leave me alone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Iamgr8teful, Good moring:) This is a great question, but you may not have many first hand answers since "OPEN ADOPTION", has just been practiced for the past 15+ yrs, so it is doubtful there are many 15-20 yr olds on here. My thinking is they just don't have the need to be here on CafeMom:) Too busy with their lives and living it:) However I hope to see MORE of these young adults, whom were adopted to come give their perspectives on this, Blessings to you my friend, C.J.

    Answer by ceejay1 at 11:16 AM on Dec. 2, 2009